New Alphabet:

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now The Alphabet For Seniors: 

  
A's for arthritis, 
B's the bad back, 
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? 


D is for dental decay and decline, 
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention, 
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. 


H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it low; 
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, 
K is for knees that crack when they bend.



L 's for libido, what happened to sex? 
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; 
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!


P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? 
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. 
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, 
T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow, 
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know. 



W for worry, now what's going 'round? 
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind, 

Z is for zest I still have - in my mind!