Superb Definitions.

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 


Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 


Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes 
of the students without passing through 'the minds of either' 



Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 



Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 



Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. 



Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 



Father: A banker provided by nature. 



Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 



Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 



Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. 



Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 


Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 



Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 



Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 



Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

SOMETHING FOR YOU TO KNOW

Ants Problem:
Ants hate cucumbers.
Keep the skin of cucumbers near the place or ant hole. 


To get pure and clean ice:
Boil water first before freezing. 


To make the mirror shine: 
Clean with sprite 


To remove chewing gum from clothes:
Keep the cloth in the freezer for an hour. 


To whiten white clothes: 
Soak white clothes in hot water with
A slice of lemon for 10 minutes 


To give a shine to hair: 
Add one teaspoon of vinegar to hair and then wash hair.



To get maximum juice out of lemons: 
Soak lemons in hot water for one hour,
And then juice them. 


To avoid smell of cabbage while cooking Keep a piece of bread on the cabbage
In the vessel while cooking. 


To avoid tears while cutting onions: 
Chew gum.


To remove ink from clothes: 
Put toothpaste on the ink spots generously and let it dry completely,
Then wash.


To skin sweet potatoes quickly: 
Soak in cold water immediately after boiling. 


To get rid of mice or rats: 
Sprinkle black pepper in places where you find mice or rats.
They will run away. 

As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate

4 Worms In Church"Four worms and a lesson to be learned!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol .. . . . . . Dead . The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead . Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil . . .. Alive …


So the Minister asked the congregation,

"What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back quickly raised her hand and said . . . "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"That pretty much ended the service.

Very useful w-site

Very useful w-site.

This is to inform you that medicines are prescribed (by our great doctors) by brand name & not by the generics (Ingredients). Hence we end up paying more money for the same medicine. Follow these few steps to know more & start saving on your medical bills. Refer to the attached screen shots. 1. Log on to www.medguideindia.com 2. Click on 'Drugs' 3. Click on 'Brand' 4. Type the brand name which you are using (e. g. Metocard XL (50 mg). The site will also help you with drop down menu) & Click on 'Search' 5. Click on 'Generics'. It will display the ingredients of the tablet. 6. Click on 'matched brands' 7. Don't be surprised to see that same drug is available at very low cost also. And that to by other reputed manufacturer. e. g. Metocard XL 50 is for Rs. 62.00 & same drug by Cipla (Mepol) is available ONLY @ Rs. 7.00 If you are convinced with the result, do forward this message to your near & dear ones.

WE NEVER KNEW THIS ABOUT JAPAN

WE NEVER KNEW THIS ABOUT JAPAN

 

They are indeed a very evolved race.

Have you ever read in the newspaper that a political leader or a prime minister from an Islamic nation has visited Japan?

Have you ever come across news that the King of Iran or a Saudi Arabia's prince has visited Japan?

Japan, a Country keeping Islam at bay.

Japan has put strict restrictions on Islam and ALL Muslims. 

 The reasons are: 

1. Japan is the only nation that does not give citizenship to Muslims.

2. In Japan permanent residency is not given to Muslims.

3. There is a strong ban on the propagation of Islam in Japan .

4.In the University of Japan, Arabic or any Islamic language is not taught.

5. One cannot import ‘Koran’ published in Arabic language. 

6. According to data published by Japanese government, it has given temporary residency to only 2 lakhs Muslims, who need to follow the Japanese Law of the Land. These Muslims should speak Japanese and carry their religious rituals in their homes.

7. Japan is the only country in the world that has a negligible number of embassies of Islamic countries. 

8. Japanese people are not attracted to Islam at all. 

9. Muslims residing in Japan are the employees of foreign companies.

10. Even today visas are not granted to Muslim doctors, engineers or managers sent by foreign companies.

11. In the majority of companies, it is stated in their regulations that no Muslims should apply for a job.

12. The Japanese government is of the opinion that Muslims are fundamentalist and even in the era of globalization, they are not willing to change their Muslim laws.

13. Muslims can not even think about getting a rented house in Japan. 

14 If anyone comes to know that his neighbor is a Muslim, then the whole neighbourhood stays alert. 

15 No one can start an Islamic cell or Arabic ‘Madarsa’ in Japan. 

16. There is no personal (Sharia) law in Japan .

17. If a Japanese woman marries a Muslim then she is considered an outcast forever.

18. According to Mr. Komico Yagi (Head of Department, Tokyo University ) “There is a mind frame in Japan that Islam is a very narrow minded religion and one should stay away from it.”

19. Freelance journalist Mohammed Zuber toured many Islamic countries after 9/11 including Japan. He found that the Japanese were confident that extremists could do no harm in Japan.

Visit Temple Regularly

In simple terms, these temples are located  
strategically at a place where the positive 
energy is abundantly available from the magnetic wave 
distribution of north/ south pole thrusts.          


The Main Idol is placed in the center, 
where high magnetic values are available. 
A copper plate with some Vedic scripts is buried, 
beneath the Main Idol. This place is known as 
"Garbhagriha" or Moolasthan. 

The copper plate absorbs the earths magnetic waves 
and radiates them to the surroundings. 

Thus a person making clockwise pradakshina of 
the Main Idol's placement, automatically receives 
the beamed magnetic waves . 

Regular visits make him absorb more positive energy. 

The Sanctum Sanctorum is completely enclosed on three sides. 
The effect of all energies is very high in here. 

The lamp that is lit radiates the heat and light energy.  




The ringing of the bells and the chanting of prayers 
gives sound energy. 

The fragrance from the flowers, the burning of camphor 
give out chemical energy. 

The effect of all these energies comes out of the idol. 

This is in addition to the north/south pole magnetic energy 
that is absorbed by the copper plate and utensils that are 
kept in the Moolasthan.



The water used for the Pooja is mixed with Cardamom, 
Benzoine, Holy Basil (Tulsi), Clove, etc is the "Theertham". 

This water becomes more energized because it receives 
all these combined energies . 

The water that is sprinkled onto the people passes 
on the energy to all. That is the reason why, men should 
not wear shirts to the temple and ladies should wear more 
ornaments because it is through these jewels (metal) that 
positive energy is absorbed by ladies. 

It is proved that Theertham is a very good blood purifier, 
as it is highly energized.


In addition, temples offer holy water (about three spoons). 
This water is mainly a source of magneto therapy as they place 
the copper water vessel at the Garbhagriha. 

It also contains cardamom, clove, saffron, etc to add taste 
and Tulsi (holy Basil) leaves are put into the water to increase 
its medicinal value! 

The clove essence protects one from tooth decay, 
the saffron & Tulsi leave essence protects one 
from common cold and cough, cardamom and benzoine 
known as Pachha Karpuram,acts as a mouth refreshing agents. 

This way, one's health too is protected, by regularly visiting Temples !

Appointment Of General after Freedom

How After Freedom Indian Army General was Appointed

Soon after getting freedom from British rule in 1947, the de-facto prime minister of India, Jawahar Lal Nehru called a meeting of army officers to select the first General of the Indian army.

Nehru proposed, "I think we should appoint a British officer as a General of The Indian Army as we don't have enough experience to lead the same."

Having learned under the British, only to serve and rarely to lead, all the civilians and men in uniform present nodded their heads in agreement

However one officer, Nathu Singh Rathore, asked for permission to speak.

Nehru was a bit taken aback by the independent streak of the officer, he asked him to speak freely.

Rathore said ,"You see, sir, we don't have enough experience to lead a nation too, so shouldn't we appoint a British person as the first Prime Minister of India?"

You could hear a pin drop.

After a pregnant pause, Nehru asked Rathore, "Are you ready to be the first General of The Indian Army ?"

Rathore declined the offer saying "Sir, we have a very talented army officer, my senior, Lt. Gen. Cariappa, who is the most deserving among us."

This is how the brilliant Gen. Cariappa became the first General and Rathore the first ever Lt. General of the Indian Army.

My thanks to Lt. Gen (retd) Niranjan Malik (PVSM) for this article.
Unquote:
We all Indians are happy that Nehru did listen to a saner advice and showed his maturity in selection of the Chief of the Army.

Is My Time UP ?




A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up ?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought yousaid I had another 43 years. Why didn't you pull me fromout of the path of the ambulance ?"

God replied:
"I didn't recognize you ! "


The Moral of the story is..
Remain what you are..... Don't confuse God !

Thoughts

NEVER share your secrets with ANYONE…This can be self-destructive.

NEVER tell your problems to ANYONE…
20% don’t care, and

80% are glad that you have them !!

Life is similar to Boxing game..
Defeat is NOT declared when you fall down;
It is declared when you refuse to ‘Get Up’!

Always WRONG persons teach the RIGHT lessons in Life!

Everything is valuable only at 2 times:
1. Before getting it; and
2. After losing it !!


Two things bring happiness & success in life:1. The way you MANAGE when you have nothing, and
2. The way you BEHAVE when you have everything !



Two places are MOST VALUABLE in the world:1. The NICEST place is to be in someone’s Thoughts, and
2. The SAFEST place is to be in someone’s Prayers.


One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.Faith is taking the 1st step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Keep your face to the Sun,
And you will not see the shadow!

A Deaf child says: “For all of you, I am deaf;
But for me, all of you are dumb…”
Moral: Life differs in each perspective. Live the way you want to.

It is always good to check once in a while,
And make sure that
You haven’t lost the things that money cannot buy..!!

Attitude at its best:
My BACK is not a VOICE MAIL..
Kindly say on my FACE.


Ego is the only requirement to destroy any relationship.Be a bigger person; skip the “E”, and let it “go”..!!


One good thing about Egoists:They don’t talk about other people!

What is SUCCESS?
It is when your photos are uploaded on GOOGLE,
Instead of FACEBOOK..!!



Do you know why God didn’t give us the gift to read others’ minds?So that,
We could have the chance to “TRUST”,
And privilege to be “TRUSTED”!


As long as we don’t forgive people who have hurt us,They occupy a RENT-FREE SPACE IN OUR MIND!


Always keep hoping for good.

Keep a green tree in your heart.
The singing birds will automatically come..!

God always likes to know again and again what you want…
It is not that He forgets your Dreams & Prayers;
But He loves to check your passion towards your desire..!


We have solutions to all the problems,
When they are not ours !!!


I asked God: “If everything is already written in Destiny, then WHY should I pray?”God smiled and said: “I have also written- CONDITIONS APPLY…”!!!


Empty pockets teach millions of things in life…
But full pockets spoil us in million ways !!!
No one in the world is afraid to speak the truth.Everybody is afraid to face the consequences after the truth is told!
Getting angry is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others!


Trust is like a STICKER.Once it is removed, it may stick again,

But NOT as strong as it holds when you first applied it..!
Always take care of relations.


Everything about the future is uncertain,But one thing is sure:
God has already arranged all our tomorrows…


We just have to TRUST HIM TODAY !!NEVER win people with Arguments, rather defeat with your Smile!
Because people who always wish to Argue with you, cannot bear your Silence !!!

The search for happiness is one of the main source of unhappiness.Diplomacy is an art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that
hey tend to ask you for directions..!!


If a drop of water falls on a Lake, its identity is lost;If it falls on Lotus leaf, it shines like a Pearl.
Drop is the same; but the company matters.
Our HOPES should be like Hair & Nails.
No matter how many times they get cut,
But they never stop growing.


“F-E-A-R” has two meanings:1. Forget Everything And Run…
2. Face Everything And Rejoice..!
Choice is ours..!!
If you walk the way guided by humans, you will find hopeless end;
& if you walk the way guided by God, you will find endless hope.


Memories are always special…Sometimes we laugh by remembering the days we cried;
And we cry by remembering the days we laughed…!!!
That’s Life!


Sea is common for all…Some take pearls,
Some take fishes,
Some come out just with just wet legs!
World is common to all; what we get, is whet we try for!

To smile without condition,

To walk without intention,
To give without reason, &
To care without expectation,
Are the beauties of any Relation!

Life is very complicated…When you have standards, people call it ATTITUDE;
When you are simple, people try to CHEAT you; &
When you cheat others, people call you SMART!


All communication problems are becauseWe don’t listen to understand;
We listen to reply…!!!

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect...It means that you have decided to look beyond the imperfections !!!

************************************************************************

Life is very similar to a Boxing Ring..Defeat is not final when you fall down..
It is final when you "REFUSE" to get up.

Two men , one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American," You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.

We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, " Talking about love marriages?... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son I.e. My brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems...? 

Mother

Some Best Lines about MOTHER 
ABBREVIATION OF MOTHER:

M:MOST
O:ORIGNAL
T:TOPCLASS
H:HONOURABLE
E:EXCELLENT
R:RESPECTABLE

Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Mother.

Smiles of happy sunshine,
Arms of everlasting love,
Touch of sweet roses,
There is magic in the air
Whenever You are there,
Mother, everything to U I owe,
May all pleasures of life come your way.

When u feel u r alone in a crowd,
when u think no one can understand u,
when u think your love is rejected by others,
and when u hate your life just close your eyes and think about her who loves u truly,
cares for u in your loneliness, dies when u cry,
she is no one else but  MOM

The love she has deep in her heart,
Always gives me a good jump start,
She is the one who's love is true,
Thank u Mom for being u.

The Miracle of Life
Nurtured by a woman
Who gave us
Love and sacrifice
is MOTHER

When you feel you are alone in the Crowd,
When you Think No one can Understand you,
When your love is rejected by others,
& when your hate your Life,
Just Close your eyes,
& see,
Her face who Loves you,
More than any one else,
Who Care for you in loneliness,
& dies when you cry.
She is no One,
But your Sweet Loving Mother.
Love your mom first.

There is no velvet so soft as a mother's lap,
no rose as lovely as her smile,
no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps.

Mother love is the fuel that
enables a normal human being
to do the impossible.

A mother serves her sugar with
A bit of peppermint
To clarify the passages
That carry what she meant
When she first set to bear a soul
Quite separate from her own,
Whom she would cherish, yet must teach
To live and die alone.

M For the MILLION things she gave me,
O For she's growing OLD,
T For the TEARS she shed to save me,
H For her HEART of purest gold,
E For her EYES, with love-light shining,
R For she is always RIGHT and always be.

Being a full-time mother is
one of the highest salaried jobs
since the payment is pure love.

Once upon a memory
Someone wiped away a tear
Held me close and loved me,
Thank you, dear Mother .

If I have never said thank you for bringing me into the world I'd like to do that now.

The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.

Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he'll end up hating you.

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

The Best, Which Touched:

When I came home in the rain,
My Brother Asked: Why U Didn't take an Umbrella.
Sister:(Advised) why didn't U wait till rain stopped.
Father(Angrily) : Warned! only after getting cold, U will realize.
.

Mother: while drying my Hair, said,
STUPID RAIN! couldn't it wait, till my child came home.
That's MAA (Mother)

Information

1. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of YAHOO? 
  
  
Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle 
  
  
2. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of ADIDAS? 
  
  
ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports 
  
  
3. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network? 
  
  
Satellite Television Asian Region 
  
  
4. What is expansion of "ICICI?" 
  
  
Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India 
  
  
5. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - 
INDIA 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why? 
  
  
That match was abandoned after people heard 
The news of Indira Gandhi being killed. 
  
  
6. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems   
For two different countries? 
  
  
Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different   
Countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for   
BANGLADESH-( Amar Sonar* *Bangla ) 
  
7. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive? 
  
  
Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'. 
  
  
8. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known? 
  
  
Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa 
  
  
9. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th? 
  
  
South Korea 
  
  
10. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007? 
  
  
Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , 
As it was known during the cold war) 
  
  
11. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match? 
  
  
Geoffrey Boycott 
  
  
12. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned   
From international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ? 
  
John Traicos 
  
13. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by   
Only one country (other than Vatican )? 
  
  
LESOTHO Surrounded from all sides by South Africa .. 
  
  
14. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed? 
  
  
Polo 

OTHER USES OF A TOOTHPASTE

Subject: 26 OTHER USES OF A TOOTHPASTE

26 Other Uses Of A Toothpaste Although the primary use of toothpaste is to clean and improve the aesthetic appearance and health of teeth, there are also 26 other things that you can use it for. Every household has one and every household uses it at least twice a day. And because of the common availability of toothpaste, you can try everything below. Remember, use only white toothpaste.  1.Removes stain from cloth To take out all kinds of stain like ink or lipstick. Squeeze some on the spot, scrub and rinse. 2.Even out scratches on CD / DVD If the screen freezes, take out the disc, put some toothpaste on it, scrub and clean it off. 3.Cleans diamond ring Just squeeze a little on a used toothbrush, wet the ring, scrub gently, rinse and your diamond ring should be look sparkling new. 4.Cleans silver Toothpaste can be used to polish any kind of silver. It really does bring out the shine in silverwares. 5.Placate burns Right after you get burnt, put it on. It helps to relieve the sting. 6.Removes crayon from painted walls Rub the marks with the toothpaste and a damp rag. Wipe with water to get rid of residue. 7.Remove carpet stains Squeeze some onto the carpet, scrub, rinse and let it dry. 8.Relieves insect bites Spread a little over either of these and you�ll feel soothed and no itches. Mosquito, flea and ant bites work especially well. 9.Keep girl babies� bows in their hair If they don�t have much hair this is particularly useful. It doesn�t pull it out, it just washes out. 10.Clean your nails Teeth and nails are made of the same material. To clean your nails, squeeze some on top of a toothbrush, wet your nails and brush them thoroughly. Be amazed by the sparkle. 11.Clean shoes Scrubbing toothpaste with a wet toothbrush over the boots, working shoes and rubber part of sneakers will work. It can also be used to remove scuffs. 12.Put up posters You can use toothpaste to put up posters without damaging the wall. However, avoid using it for collector posters. It can damage the ink over time. 13.Use it to temporarily seal holes Can be used as a spackle to fill nail holes. This sounds evil, but you can use it right before you move out of your rented apartment. 14.Clean around the bathroom Use it to clean shower doors and rings around the bath tub. It has an abrasive so that is why it works good. 15.Clean your vehicle�s headlight lenses Put some toothpaste in a bowl with some water. Use a buffer pad and clean off fog caused by dirt and bugs hitting them. 16.Clean model cars Hobbyists who collect and build model cars, robots and action figures can certainly use toothpaste to make them nice and shiny. 17.Remove scratches on your watch crystal Dab some on the watch and scrub it with tissue. 18.Treat acne Be very careful when using this. Use it at most once a week. Just dab a small amount on a pimple before bed, wake up and it will dry up. 19.Prevent fog in your swimming goggles Just wipe it on, clean it off. Works well for me. 20. Removes stain from the key tops.  A dab of toothpaste, a soft cloth and some rubbing will usually clean piano key tops and turn them white again. 21.Deodorize smelly hands Wash your hands with a dab of toothpaste and it will remove smells like onions and other unpleasant odors. 22.Remove scratches on glassware Polish with a squeeze of toothpaste. Your glassware should be shining in no time. 23.Remove beach tar Getting that black beach tar on your feet can put a small crimp in your vacation, but it is easy enough to remove. Just rub it with some non-gel toothpaste and rinse. 24.Deodorize baby bottles Works for sour smelling baby bottles. Scrub with toothpaste and a bottle brush and the bottles should end up smelling clean and fresh. 25.Cleans clothes iron The mild abrasive in non-gel toothpaste is just the ticket for scrubbing the gunk off the bottom plate of your clothes iron. Apply the toothpaste to the cool iron, scrub with a cloth, then rinse clean.  26.Remove water marks from furniture To get rid of those telltale watermark rings left by sweating beverages, gently rub some non-gel toothpaste on the wood with a soft cloth