Thursday, October 3, 2013

100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman


9.  We never have to pay when we go out on dates.

10.  Men take us on all expense paid trips

11.  We always get place to sit when using public transport.

12.  Easy to get a ride.

13.  Men hold the door open for us.

14.  Jewels looks good on us.

15.  We lie better.

16.  We're better manipulators.

17.  We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.

18.  We always have food in the fridge.

19.  We don't worry about losing our hair.

20.  We always get to choose the movie.

21.  We don't have to mow the lawn.

22.  We don't have to take out the garbage.

23.  We don't have to paint the house or walls.

24. If we need to our boyfriends just a missed call is enough.

25. We can easily show our disappointments or disapprovals.

26.  We can con our way out of anything - not just  dig ourselves deeper into a hole.

27.  Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus when its cold.

28. Even strangers shows care if we are in trouble. Men have to manage themselves.

29.  Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first  time you can walk all over em forever.

30. We can cry in public. Men cant.

31. We don't feel shy to cry.

32. We don have worry if we lose the fight.

33.  Sweat is sexy on us.

34.  We never run out of excuses.

35.  You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often.

36. We can borrow clothes or accessories from our friends.

37.  We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.

38.  We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often.

39.  We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner.

40.  Women are cleaner.

41. We know how to make up stories.

42.  We're better arguers.

43.  We don't always have to think with our genitals.

44. We don't have to worry if we are plump. Men still like us.

45.  We're better parents.

46.  We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night. 

47.  There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and able men.

48.  We're flexible.

49.  When women get upset, we don't destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can.

50. Easy to make friendships.

51. Much easy to get a date.

52.  Men have to be in uniform.

53. We can do makeup anywhere

54. If we do heavy purchase we don't have to carry those things. Men are there.

55.  It generally takes us less to get drunk.

56.  We have a higher tolerance to pain.

57.  We often get to cut in line (Queue).

58.  Most women actually look good in short shorts      - men DON'T.

59.  Better tips.

60.  Women who don't wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's rather disgusting

61.  We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public.

62.  Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank heaven for long pants and perfume!

63.  We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want.

64.  We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.

65.  We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.

66. We don't bother if our IQ level is less. Just a smile is enough.

67. We are always smart.

68.  We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return.

69.  We don't have to lie to boast ourselves better.

70.  Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us. 

71.  Women sweat less.

72.  Women smell better.

73.  When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards

74.  Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats.

75. We don get charged if we tease men in public.

76. We can be late to the office.

77.  We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.

78.  We're better gossips.

79.  We have better fashion sense.

80.  We're better shoppers.

81.  We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.

82.  Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone.

83.  Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)

84.  We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and use it to our extreme advantage.

85.  We don't have to drive when on a date. 

86.  An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just ugly.

87. We can search for hours together in a shop not necessary to buy.

88. Don't have to maintain great physique.

89.  Women look better naked

90.  We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing.

91.  When women are short, we're petite.  When men are short, they're just short.

92.  Women do less time for violent crimes.

93.  Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up.

94. There are many hands to lift  us when we slip to ground. Poor men they have to get up on their own.

95. And we don't have to feel shy about falling down.

96.  Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye"

97.  Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.

98.  The remote control is not an extension of ourselves.

99.  Women are sexier.

100.  We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want 
it.........!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Sleeping Tips



Stick to a schedule. Erratic bedtimes do not allow for your body to align to the proper circadian rhythms. Mum was right when she set a time we always had to go to sleep as kids. Also, make sure you try to keep the same schedule on weekends too, otherwise the next morning, you’d wake later and feel overly tired.

Sleep only at night. Avoid daytime sleep if possible. Daytime naps steal hours from nighttime slumber. Limit daytime sleep to 20-minute, power naps.



Exercise. It’s actually known to help you sleep better. Your body uses the sleep period to recover its muscles and joints that have been exercised. Twenty to thirty minutes of exercise every day can help you sleep, but be sure to exercise in the morning or afternoon. Exercise stimulates the body and aerobic activity before bedtime may make falling asleep more difficult.

Taking a hot shower or bath before bed helps bring on sleep because they can relax tense muscles.

Avoid eating just before bed. Avoid eat large meals or spicy foods before bedtime. Give yourself at least 2 hours from when you eat to when you sleep. This allows for digestion to happen (or at least start) well before you go to sleep so your body can rest well during the night, rather than churning away your food.

Avoid caffeine. It keeps you awake and that’s now what you want for a good nights sleep. We all know that.

Read a fiction book. It takes you to a whole new world if you really get into it. And then take some time to ponder over the book as you fall asleep. I find as I read more and more, regardless of the book, I get more tired at night and so find it easier to fall asleep. Different for others?

Have the room slightly cooler. I prefer this to a hot room. I prefer to turn off the heat and allow the coolness to circulate in and out of the windows. If I get cold, I wear warmer clothes. It also saves on the bills as you’re not going to require the heat all night long.

Sleep in silence. I find sleeping with no music or TV on more easy and restful. I guess others are different, but sleep with no distractions is best for a clearer mind.


Avoid alcohol before bedtime. It’s a depressant; although it may make it easier to fall asleep, it causes you to wake up during the night. As alcohol is digested your body goes into withdrawal from the alcohol, causing nighttime awakenings and often nightmares for some people.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Professors of different subjects define kiss the same word in different ways:

Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.


Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.


Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.


Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.


Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.


Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of uni*---**---**---*ual salivary bacteria.


Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.


Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.


Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.


Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.


Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.


Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.


Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.

Dream that Indicates Wealth

  1. If you see any God/Goddess in your dream, it truly indicates that you will achieve success along with wealth in coming days.
  2. Watching a woman or girl dancing in your dreams is also an indication of receiving wealth.
  3. Viewing kingfisher or crane in your dream also indicates respect and wealth coming to you within few days.
  4. Viewing 'Kadam' tree in a dream is also an indicator of receiving wealth, good health and respect.
  5. If you see 'Amla' and the flower lotus in your dream, it denotes that you are about to receive money in few days.
  6. Seeing yourself wearing earrings in your dream is also an indication of receiving money.
  7. Dreaming about a farmer working in his field indicates that you will receive wealth from any unknown source.
  8. Dreaming about a lit 'Deepak' connotes some sort of blessings that you might receive in few days.
  9. Viewing gold in your dream is also considered as an indicator of receiving wealth.
  10. Seeing yourself wearing a ring in your dream also implies wealth.
  11. Seeing a palace in your dream also indicates receiving a lot of wealth.
  12. Taking milk out of a cow in your dream is also considered as an indicator of wealth.
  13. Watching someone also taking milk out of the cow implies receiving sudden wealth.
  14. Watching a white horse in your dream indicates happy future and wealth.
  15. Viewing elephant in your dream denotes that you might receive wealth from any source.
  16. Dreaming about a cow in your dream is also considered as a very auspicious sign. The viewer receives wealth, glory, grandeur and magnificence.
  17. Dreaming about cow's milk and 'ghee' also denotes receiving of wealth.
  18. The tree laden with fruits indicates wealth and richness.
  19. Watching mice in your dream indicated wealth coming in your home.
  20. Viewing black Scorpio in a dream signifies wealth.
  21. Dreaming of a raised head of the snake connotes receiving wealth.
  22. Watching a snake near his burrow indicates sudden receiving wealth.
  23. If you see a dead bird in your dream, do not worry. It is a good sign and indicates sudden gain of wealth.
  24. Viewing parrot in your dream is a strong indication if receiving money.
  25. Watching mongoose in your dream signifies receiving diamonds and jewelries.
  26. If you see the hive of bees in your dream then, it is an indication of gaining wealth.
  27. If you see white ants in your dream, then also it indicates gain of wealth.
  28. Dreaming about 'Aam ka Bagicha' implies all of a sudden gain of wealth and richness.
  29. If you see yourself climbing a tree, then it indicates earning of money and wealth.
  30. Watching yourself climbing a mountain in a dream is also an indicator of receiving money.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Human Brain Analysis--Man vs. Woman

Human Brain Analysis--Man vs. Woman



1. MULTI-TASKING

Womens brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook. Mens brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.

2. LANGUAGE

Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 years old boy.

3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS

Mens brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.

4. CAR DRIVING.

While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.

5. LYING

When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Womans super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Mens brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face. So guys, do not lie face to face.

6. PROBLEMS SOLVING


If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.

7. WHAT THEY WANT

Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...

8. UNHAPPINESS

If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.

9. SPEECH

Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.

10. HANDLING EMOTION

Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking

Natural Cure


CURE FOR ACIDITY


Acidity, it is said, is worse than Cancer. It is one of the most common dis-ease people encounter in their daily life. The home remedy for Acidity is Raw Grains of Rice.

The Process:

1. Take 8 - 10 grains of raw uncooked rice

2. Swallow it with water before having your breakfast or eating anything in the morning

3. Do this for 21 days to see effective results and continuously for 3 months to eliminate acidity from the body

The Cure:

Reduces acid levels in the body and makes you feel better by the day.


CURE FOR CHOLESTEROL:


Cholesterol problem accompanies with Hypertension and Heart Problems. This is also one of the common problems in people who have High Blood Pressure and Diabetes. The home remedy for Cholesterol problem is RAW SUPARI.

The Process:

1. Take Raw Supari (Betel Nut that is not flavoured) and slice them or make pieces of the same

2. Chew it for about 20 - 40 minutes after every meal

3. Spit it out

The Cure:

When you chew the supari, the saliva takes in the juice that is generated and this acts like a Blood Thinner. Once your blood becomes free flowing, it brings down the pressure in the blood flow, thereby reducing Blood Pressure too.


CURE FOR BLOOD PRESSURE:


One of the simple home remedy cure for Blood Pressure is Methi Seeds or Fenugreek Seeds.

The Process:

1. Take a pinch of Raw Fenugreek Seeds, about 8 - 10 seeds

2. Swallow it with water before taking your breakfast, every morning

The Cure:

The seeds of Fenugreek are considered good to reduce the blood pressure.



CURE FOR DIABETES:

There are 2 home remedies for Diabetes. One is Ladies Finger and the other is Black Tea.

BLACK TEA:Due to high medication, the organ that is worst affected is the Kidney. It has been observed that Black Tea (tea without milk, sugar or lemon) is good for the Kidney. Hence a cup of black tea every morning is highly advisable.


The Process:
1. Boil water along with the tea leaves (any tea leaves will do).

2. Drink the concoction without addingmilk, sugar or lemon.

The Cure:
Black Tea will help in enhancing the function of the kidney, thereby not affecting it more.



LADIES FINGER or OKRA:
Ladies finger is considered to be a good home medicine for diabetes.


The Process:
1. Slit the ladies finger into 2 halves vertically and soak it in water overnight.

2. The next morning, remove the ladies fingers and drink the water, before eating your breakfast.

The Cure:
After the ladies fingers are soaked overnight in the water, you can observe that the water becomes sticky in the morning. This sticky water is considered to be good for people who suffer from Diabetes.



OIL PULLING:


Dr. Med. Karch, a Russian, introduced a simple process for the Human body by using oil. This was further popularized by Lt. Col T. Koteswara Rao (Retd.). Initially it causes doubts, but after trying it out the results are astonishing.

The Process:
1. Take one spoon of refined oil in the mouth on an empty stomach early in the morning, before eating or drinking anything.

2. Without much effort or speed, slowly suck and pull the oil through the teeth. Gargle the oil within closed mouth for 15 - 20 minutes.

3. During this process, the oil becomes liquid and white like milk. Spit the liquid out and wash your mouth thoroughly, preferably with warm water.

4. DO NOT SWALLOW the oil as it contains toxins and harmful bacteria drawn from the body through the saliva. Continue this process everyday for better results.

The Cure:
The process of Oil Pulling can give relief and cure Headaches, Asthma, Bad Breath, Nose Block, Tooth Pain, Acidity, Ulcers, Cracked Feet, Joint Pains, Stomach Problems, Problems related to Lungs, Liver & Nerves.

Who can practice this:
Oil Pulling can be practiced by all from the age of 5 years onwards for any type of health problems. People who are in a habit of taking a lot of medicines should try this, as it will release a lot of toxins from the body.

Which Oil to be Used:
Any cooking oil can be used, but the most preferred is the Sesame Oil.

don't mesh with Engineer


interviewer :Let me check your word Power...
ENGINEER: ok Sir .....
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.
ENGINEER: hmmmm..... Bad
Interviewer : Come
ENGINEER: Go.

Interviewer : Ugly.
ENGINEER: Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
ENGINEER: UGLYYYYYYYYY..
Interviewer : Shut Up.
ENGINEER: Keep Talking.
Interviewer ok now stop these all..
ENGINEER: now carry on this all

Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho
jaaaa
ENGINEER:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh
Interviewer :Areeee yaaar
ENGINEER: areeee dushmannnnnn
Interviewer : Get Out.
ENGINEER: Come In.

Interviewer : Oh my God.
ENGINEER : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
ENGINEER: I m selected...Than k u thank u sir.

Moral-Dont ever try to mess with engineer..

Wives

1. Quote on a man’s T-shirt:
All women are devils...
But my wife is QUEEN of them!
2.Man was sent on earth to suffer...
Women was sent to make sure it happens!
3. A man asked for poison.
Chemist refused, since it required prescription.
He showed his Marriage Certificate.
4. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
And other is husband!
5. Husband Wife always compromise.
Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.
6. Husband wife had a long argument.
Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY?
7. A man speaks 25000 words daily,
A woman speaks 30000 words.
Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000,
Wife starts her quota of 30000 words!
8. Boy: My dad is billionaire 93-years old.
He will die soon.
Will you marry me?
Girl: NO.
A week later she became his step-mother.
Moral: Don’t give ideas to girls.
9. Two things in life are difficult to achieve:
(1) to plant your idea in someone’s head,
(2) to plant somebody’s money in your pocket.
10. * He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;
* He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;
* The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE;
* The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!
11. Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It Means-Worries Invited For Ever...
Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!!
12. No one teaches a volcano how to erupt...
No one teaches a tsunami how to arise…
No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around...
No one teaches a man how to choose a wife…
Natural Disasters just happen…!!!
13. Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The Mafia wants either or money or life...
The wives want both!
14. Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?'
Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.
15. Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
16. Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!
17. Whisky is a brilliant invention…
One double and you start feeling single again.
18. A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.
19. American: In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language?
Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE… they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE…

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Food as Medicine



HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT! 
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season. 
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.

TO PREVENT STROKE
 DRINK TEA! 
Prevent build-up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)! 

INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?)
 HONEY! 
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative. 

ASTHMA? 
EAT ONIONS!!!! 
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (onion packs place on chest helped the respiratory ailments and actually made breathing better).

ARTHRITIS?
 EAT FISH, TOO!! 
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system) 

UPSET STOMACH?
 BANANAS - GINGER!!!!! 
Bananas will settle an upset stomach. 
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.. 

BLADDER INFECTION?
 DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!! 
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria. 

BONE PROBLEMS?
 EAT PINEAPPLE!!! 
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple. 

MEMORY PROBLEMS?
 EAT OYSTERS! 
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc. 

COLDS?
 EAT GARLIC! 
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING? 
USE RED PEPPERS!! 
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy. 

BREAST CANCER?
 EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage 
Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels. 

LUNG CANCER?
 EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!! 
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables. 

ULCERS? 
EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!! 
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers. 

DIARRHEA? 
EAT APPLES! 
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)

CLOGGED ARTERIES?
 EAT AVOCADO! 
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol. 

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?
 EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!! 
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure. 
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too. 

BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE?
 EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!! 
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar. 

Kiwi:
 Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E fibre. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange. 

Apple:
 An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack stroke.. 

Strawberry:
 Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young...........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies)

Orange :
 Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer.. 

Watermelon:
 Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system.. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients 
Found in watermelon are Vitamin C Potassium.(watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn UV rays)


Guava Papaya:
 Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fibre which helps prevent constipation. 

Papaya
 is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion) 

Tomatoes 
are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies......GOOD AS MEDICINE..

Very informative - spread the Knowledge

How To Read A Woman's Mind

  • Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.
  • Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.
  • She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.
  • She puts her fingernail between her teeth.
  • She protrudes her lips and thrust her brea$ts forward.
Her eyes -
  • She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.
  • She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact.
  • She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.
  • While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.
  • Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.
Her hair -
  • She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion.
  • She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.
  • She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.
  •  
Her clothing -
  • If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect.
  • The hem goes up to expose a little more leg.
  • She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.
  •  
While she is seated -
  • She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
  • She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.
  • She is sitting with her legs open.
  • She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh.
  • Her legs are rubbing against each other.
  • Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table.
  • Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.
Her hands -
  • She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.
  • While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
  • She rubs her wrists up and down.
  • She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts.
  • She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way.
  • She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table.
  • She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions.
  • She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you (in case you already haven't started kino yourself, dumbass:).
  • She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.

Her voice -
  • She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.
  • She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
  • She laughs in unison with you.
  • In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.
  •  
Miscellaneous -
  • She mirrors your body language and body positions.
  • Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.
  • She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you.
  • She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school.
  • She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other, hips slightly thrust forward.
  • At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy!, she bumps into you… accidentally, touches you… accidentally etc.
When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for -
  • Can you keep conversation going with her?
  • Does she react well to kino?
  • Does she touch you?
  • Does she laugh?

Monday, April 22, 2013

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)


3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM /HER.

6.. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next city, state,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
I love you, my special friend.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.

You may like to send this to people - who cares?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Education in India.


Education in India.

Most 'First Class' students get technical seats, some become Doctors and some Engineers.


The 'Second Class' pass, and then get MBA, become Administrators and control the 'First Class'. 


The 'Third Class' pass, enter politics and 
Become Ministers and control both. 


Last, but not the least, 
The 'Failures' join the underworld and 
control all the above. 


And those who do not attend any school, become 
Swamis and Gurus and Everyone goes to them.

If you husband is Software Programmer


Very hilarious

This is brilliant !!!! 

INSTALLING HUSBAND.....
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..


Dear Tech Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems but it just doesn't seem to work.
What can I do?


Signed,........................


Reply...


DEAR Madam,


First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, While Husband 1.0 is an operating system.


Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.


If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..


However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Beer 6.1..


Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)


In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.


To summarize -   1.0 is a great program
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.


Good Luck Madam!
_

Monday, March 4, 2013

New Alphabet:



A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now The Alphabet For Seniors: 

  
A's for arthritis, 
B's the bad back, 
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? 


D is for dental decay and decline, 
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention, 
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. 


H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it low; 
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, 
K is for knees that crack when they bend.



L 's for libido, what happened to sex? 
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; 
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!


P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? 
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two. 
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, 
T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow, 
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know. 



W for worry, now what's going 'round? 
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind, 

Z is for zest I still have - in my mind!