Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of uni*---**---**---*ual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.
Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Professors of different subjects define kiss the same word in different ways:
Dream that Indicates Wealth
- If you see any God/Goddess in your dream, it truly indicates that you will achieve success along with wealth in coming days.
- Watching a woman or girl dancing in your dreams is also an indication of receiving wealth.
- Viewing kingfisher or crane in your dream also indicates respect and wealth coming to you within few days.
- Viewing 'Kadam' tree in a dream is also an indicator of receiving wealth, good health and respect.
- If you see 'Amla' and the flower lotus in your dream, it denotes that you are about to receive money in few days.
- Seeing yourself wearing earrings in your dream is also an indication of receiving money.
- Dreaming about a farmer working in his field indicates that you will receive wealth from any unknown source.
- Dreaming about a lit 'Deepak' connotes some sort of blessings that you might receive in few days.
- Viewing gold in your dream is also considered as an indicator of receiving wealth.
- Seeing yourself wearing a ring in your dream also implies wealth.
- Seeing a palace in your dream also indicates receiving a lot of wealth.
- Taking milk out of a cow in your dream is also considered as an indicator of wealth.
- Watching someone also taking milk out of the cow implies receiving sudden wealth.
- Watching a white horse in your dream indicates happy future and wealth.
- Viewing elephant in your dream denotes that you might receive wealth from any source.
- Dreaming about a cow in your dream is also considered as a very auspicious sign. The viewer receives wealth, glory, grandeur and magnificence.
- Dreaming about cow's milk and 'ghee' also denotes receiving of wealth.
- The tree laden with fruits indicates wealth and richness.
- Watching mice in your dream indicated wealth coming in your home.
- Viewing black Scorpio in a dream signifies wealth.
- Dreaming of a raised head of the snake connotes receiving wealth.
- Watching a snake near his burrow indicates sudden receiving wealth.
- If you see a dead bird in your dream, do not worry. It is a good sign and indicates sudden gain of wealth.
- Viewing parrot in your dream is a strong indication if receiving money.
- Watching mongoose in your dream signifies receiving diamonds and jewelries.
- If you see the hive of bees in your dream then, it is an indication of gaining wealth.
- If you see white ants in your dream, then also it indicates gain of wealth.
- Dreaming about 'Aam ka Bagicha' implies all of a sudden gain of wealth and richness.
- If you see yourself climbing a tree, then it indicates earning of money and wealth.
- Watching yourself climbing a mountain in a dream is also an indicator of receiving money.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Human Brain Analysis--Man vs. Woman
Human Brain Analysis--Man vs. Woman
1. MULTI-TASKING
Womens brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook. Mens brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.
2. LANGUAGE
Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 years old boy.
3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS
Mens brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.
4. CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.
5. LYING
When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Womans super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Mens brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face. So guys, do not lie face to face.
6. PROBLEMS SOLVING
If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.
7. WHAT THEY WANT
Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...
8. UNHAPPINESS
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.
9. SPEECH
Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.
10. HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking
1. MULTI-TASKING
Womens brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook. Mens brains designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. they stop the TV while Talking. They can either watch TV or talk over the phone or cook.
2. LANGUAGE
Women can easily learn many languages. But can not find solutions to problems. Men can not easily learn languages, they can easily solve problems. That's why in average a 3 years old girl has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 years old boy.
3. ANALYTICAL SKILLS
Mens brains has a lot of space for handling the analytical process. They can analyze and find the solution for a process and design a map of a building easily. But If a complex map is viewed by women, they can not understand it. Women can not understand the details of a map easily, For them it is just a dump of lines on a paper.
4. CAR DRIVING.
While driving a car, mans analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fastly. If he sees an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and he drives accordingly. Where woman take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. Mans single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrates only on driving.
5. LYING
When men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily. Womans super natural brain observes facial expression 70%, body language 20% and words coming from the mouth 10%. Mens brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face. So guys, do not lie face to face.
6. PROBLEMS SOLVING
If a man have a lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts them in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If a woman has a lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problems being solved or not.
7. WHAT THEY WANT
Men want status, success, solutions, big process, etc... But Women want relationship, friends, family, etc...
8. UNHAPPINESS
If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on their work. If men are unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations.
9. SPEECH
Women use indirect language in speech. But Men use direct language.
10. HANDLING EMOTION
Women talk a lot without thinking. Men act a lot without thinking
Natural Cure
CURE FOR ACIDITY
Acidity, it is said, is worse than Cancer. It is one of the most common dis-ease people encounter in their daily life. The home remedy for Acidity is Raw Grains of Rice.
The Process:
1. Take 8 - 10 grains of raw uncooked rice
2. Swallow it with water before having your breakfast or eating anything in the morning
3. Do this for 21 days to see effective results and continuously for 3 months to eliminate acidity from the body
The Cure:
Reduces acid levels in the body and makes you feel better by the day.
CURE FOR CHOLESTEROL:
Cholesterol problem accompanies with Hypertension and Heart Problems. This is also one of the common problems in people who have High Blood Pressure and Diabetes. The home remedy for Cholesterol problem is RAW SUPARI.
The Process:
1. Take Raw Supari (Betel Nut that is not flavoured) and slice them or make pieces of the same
2. Chew it for about 20 - 40 minutes after every meal
3. Spit it out
The Cure:
When you chew the supari, the saliva takes in the juice that is generated and this acts like a Blood Thinner. Once your blood becomes free flowing, it brings down the pressure in the blood flow, thereby reducing Blood Pressure too.
CURE FOR BLOOD PRESSURE:
One of the simple home remedy cure for Blood Pressure is Methi Seeds or Fenugreek Seeds.
The Process:
1. Take a pinch of Raw Fenugreek Seeds, about 8 - 10 seeds
2. Swallow it with water before taking your breakfast, every morning
The Cure:
The seeds of Fenugreek are considered good to reduce the blood pressure.
CURE FOR DIABETES:
There are 2 home remedies for Diabetes. One is Ladies Finger and the other is Black Tea.
BLACK TEA:Due to high medication, the organ that is worst affected is the Kidney. It has been observed that Black Tea (tea without milk, sugar or lemon) is good for the Kidney. Hence a cup of black tea every morning is highly advisable.
The Process:
1. Boil water along with the tea leaves (any tea leaves will do).
2. Drink the concoction without addingmilk, sugar or lemon.
The Cure:
Black Tea will help in enhancing the function of the kidney, thereby not affecting it more.
LADIES FINGER or OKRA:
Ladies finger is considered to be a good home medicine for diabetes.
The Process:
1. Slit the ladies finger into 2 halves vertically and soak it in water overnight.
2. The next morning, remove the ladies fingers and drink the water, before eating your breakfast.
The Cure:
After the ladies fingers are soaked overnight in the water, you can observe that the water becomes sticky in the morning. This sticky water is considered to be good for people who suffer from Diabetes.
OIL PULLING:
Dr. Med. Karch, a Russian, introduced a simple process for the Human body by using oil. This was further popularized by Lt. Col T. Koteswara Rao (Retd.). Initially it causes doubts, but after trying it out the results are astonishing.
The Process:
1. Take one spoon of refined oil in the mouth on an empty stomach early in the morning, before eating or drinking anything.
2. Without much effort or speed, slowly suck and pull the oil through the teeth. Gargle the oil within closed mouth for 15 - 20 minutes.
3. During this process, the oil becomes liquid and white like milk. Spit the liquid out and wash your mouth thoroughly, preferably with warm water.
4. DO NOT SWALLOW the oil as it contains toxins and harmful bacteria drawn from the body through the saliva. Continue this process everyday for better results.
The Cure:
The process of Oil Pulling can give relief and cure Headaches, Asthma, Bad Breath, Nose Block, Tooth Pain, Acidity, Ulcers, Cracked Feet, Joint Pains, Stomach Problems, Problems related to Lungs, Liver & Nerves.
Who can practice this:
Oil Pulling can be practiced by all from the age of 5 years onwards for any type of health problems. People who are in a habit of taking a lot of medicines should try this, as it will release a lot of toxins from the body.
Which Oil to be Used:
Any cooking oil can be used, but the most preferred is the Sesame Oil.
don't mesh with Engineer
interviewer :Let me check your word Power...
ENGINEER: ok Sir .....
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good. ENGINEER: hmmmm..... Bad Interviewer : Come ENGINEER: Go. Interviewer : Ugly. ENGINEER: Pichlli. Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII? ENGINEER: UGLYYYYYYYYY.. Interviewer : Shut Up. ENGINEER: Keep Talking. Interviewer ok now stop these all.. ENGINEER: now carry on this all Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa ENGINEER:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh Interviewer :Areeee yaaar ENGINEER: areeee dushmannnnnn Interviewer : Get Out. ENGINEER: Come In. Interviewer : Oh my God. ENGINEER : Oh my Devil. Interviewer : U r Rejected. ENGINEER: I m selected...Than k u thank u sir. Moral-Dont ever try to mess with engineer.. |
Wives
1. Quote on a man’s T-shirt:
All women are devils...
But my wife is QUEEN of them!
2.Man was sent on earth to suffer...
Women was sent to make sure it happens!
3. A man asked for poison.
Chemist refused, since it required prescription.
He showed his Marriage Certificate.
4. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
And other is husband!
5. Husband Wife always compromise.
Husband always admits that he is wrong, and wife agrees with him.
6. Husband wife had a long argument.
Wife concluded: See dear; do you want to WIN or be HAPPY?
7. A man speaks 25000 words daily,
A woman speaks 30000 words.
Problem starts when husband comes from office after finishing his 25000,
Wife starts her quota of 30000 words!
8. Boy: My dad is billionaire 93-years old.
He will die soon.
Will you marry me?
Girl: NO.
A week later she became his step-mother.
Moral: Don’t give ideas to girls.
9. Two things in life are difficult to achieve:
(1) to plant your idea in someone’s head,
(2) to plant somebody’s money in your pocket.
10. * He who succeeds in the 1st, we call him TEACHER;
* He who succeeds in the 2nd, we call him GOVERNMENT;
* The one who succeeds in both, we call WIFE;
* The one who fails in both, we call HUSBAND!
11. Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It Means-Worries Invited For Ever...
Wife: No; it means- With Idiot For Ever !!!
12. No one teaches a volcano how to erupt...
No one teaches a tsunami how to arise…
No one teaches a hurricane how to sway around...
No one teaches a man how to choose a wife…
Natural Disasters just happen…!!!
13. Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The Mafia wants either or money or life...
The wives want both!
14. Searching these keywords on Google 'How to tackle wife?'
Google search result, 'Good day sir, Even we are searching'.
15. Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
16. Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.
Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!
17. Whisky is a brilliant invention…
One double and you start feeling single again.
18. A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.
19. American: In India, do you guys call your wives HONEY in your native language?
Indian: Oh no; we call them BEE-BEE… they sting twice as hard as HONEY BEE…
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Food as Medicine
HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.
TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA!
Prevent build-up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)!
INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?) HONEY!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.
ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (onion packs place on chest helped the respiratory ailments and actually made breathing better).
ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)
UPSET STOMACH? BANANAS - GINGER!!!!!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea..
BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.
BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.
MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.
COLDS? EAT GARLIC!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)
COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.
BREAST CANCER? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.
LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.
ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.
DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)
CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.
HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.
BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!!
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.
Kiwi: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E fibre. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.
Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack stroke..
Strawberry: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young...........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies)
Orange : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer..
Watermelon: Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system.. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients
Found in watermelon are Vitamin C Potassium.(watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn UV rays)
Guava Papaya: Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fibre which helps prevent constipation.
Papaya is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion)
Tomatoes are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies......GOOD AS MEDICINE..
Very informative - spread the Knowledge
How To Read A Woman's Mind
- Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.
- Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.
- She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.
- She puts her fingernail between her teeth.
- She protrudes her lips and thrust her brea$ts forward.
Her eyes -
- She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.
- She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact.
- She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.
- While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.
- Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.
Her hair -
- She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion.
- She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.
- She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.
Her clothing -
- If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect.
- The hem goes up to expose a little more leg.
- She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.
While she is seated -
- She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
- She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.
- She is sitting with her legs open.
- She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh.
- Her legs are rubbing against each other.
- Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table.
- Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.
Her hands -
- She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.
- While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
- She rubs her wrists up and down.
- She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts.
- She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way.
- She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table.
- She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions.
- She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you (in case you already haven't started kino yourself, dumbass:).
- She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.
Her voice -
- She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.
- She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
- She laughs in unison with you.
- In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.
Miscellaneous -
- She mirrors your body language and body positions.
- Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.
- She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you.
- She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school.
- She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other, hips slightly thrust forward.
- At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy!, she bumps into you… accidentally, touches you… accidentally etc.
When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for -
- Can you keep conversation going with her?
- Does she react well to kino?
- Does she touch you?
- Does she laugh?
Monday, April 22, 2013
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)
3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM /HER.
6.. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love:
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next city, state,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
I love you, my special friend.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.
You may like to send this to people - who cares?
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)
3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM /HER.
6.. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love:
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next city, state,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
I love you, my special friend.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.
You may like to send this to people - who cares?
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Education in India.
Education in India.
Most 'First Class' students get technical seats, some become Doctors and some Engineers.
The 'Second Class' pass, and then get MBA, become Administrators and control the 'First Class'.
The 'Third Class' pass, enter politics and
Become Ministers and control both.
Last, but not the least,
The 'Failures' join the underworld and
control all the above.
And those who do not attend any school, become
Swamis and Gurus and Everyone goes to them.
If you husband is Software Programmer
Very hilarious
This is brilliant !!!!
INSTALLING HUSBAND.....
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems but it just doesn't seem to work.
What can I do?
Signed,........................
Reply...
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, While Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Beer 6.1..
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
To summarize - 1.0 is a great program
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!_
Monday, March 4, 2013
New Alphabet:
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The Alphabet For Seniors:
A's for arthritis,
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary, troubles with flow,
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have - in my mind!
Dream that Reveals
To dream that you are in a cab indicates that you are being taken for a ride. Someone is taking advantage of you.To dream that you are hailing a cab suggests that you need to ask for help in order to be able to move forward in some waking situation.
Cabin
To see or dream that you are in a wood cabin indicates that you will succeed via your own means. It suggests that you are self-reliant and independent, yet still remain humble. You prefer the simpler things in life.
To see a cactus in your dream suggests that you are feeling invaded, that your space is being crowded into and that you are being suffocated. The prickly spines of the cactus represent the boundary you are trying to establish between your personal and private. Or you feel the need to defend yourself in some way. Alternatively, the dream implies that you have found yourself in a sticky situation. Perhaps you need to adapt to your existing circumstances instead of trying to change them.
To dream that you are in a cage indicates that you are experiencing inhibitions and powerlessness in some areas of your life. You are feeling restricted, confined and restrained in a current relationship or business deal. Somebody may be keeping a short leash on you, where you are lacking the freedom to act independently.
To dream that you are putting a wild animal into a cage signifies that you will succeed in overcoming your rivals and fears. It is also symbolic of your ability to control you animalistic rages and anger.
To see a bird in a cage suggests that you are feeling limited in your expression and a sudden lost of freedom. You may be experiencing frustrations and an inhibited spirituality.
Camel
To see a camel in your dream denotes that you need to be more conservative; you are carrying too many responsibilities, burdens and problems on your shoulders. You tend to hold on and cling on to your emotions instead of expressing and releasing them. Learn to forgive and forget.
To dream that you are petting a camel indicates that you are ready to let go of some of the burdens, responsibilities or emotional baggage that you are carrying around.
Canal
To see a canal in your dream symbolizes restraint and constricted emotions. It also suggests that you are unyielding in your thinking and beliefs, which may hinder you in the pursuit of your goals. You are being too controlling.
Cancer
To dream that you have cancer denotes hopelessness, grief, self-pity, and unforgiveness. You feel you are wasting your life away. This dream also represents areas in your life which are bothering you, disturbing you, and hurting you in some emotional way. An emotional issue is eating away at you.
To dream that you are being treated for cancer signifies a positive change in your life.
To dream that someone has cancer indicates that you need to change your negative way of thinking before it eats away at you. Start being more positive.
Candle
To see a burning candle in your dream signifies that good luck and hope will be coming your way in small and steady amounts. You are in a comfortable stage in your life and may be seeking spiritual enlightenment. Lit candles are also symbolic of intellect, enlightenment, awareness or the search for truth.
To see an unlit candle denotes feelings of rejection or disappointments. You are not utilizing your fullest potential. If you try to light the candle, but it won't light, then it represents grief. You are in denial about something.
Carnival
To dream that you are at the carnival represents falsehoods and deception. If you observe freakish sights, then it denotes a lack of harmony in your domestic life. Much sorrow will arise in what were thought to be pleasant times.
To see a castle in your dream signifies reward, honor, recognition, and praise for your achievements. You are destined to a position of power, wealth, and prestige. Alternatively, the dream indicates your desire to escape from life's daily problems.
To dream that you live in a castle represents your extreme need for security and protection to the point where you may be isolating yourself from others. Perhaps the dream parallels a waking situation where it has put you on the defensive.
To see a cat in your dream symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. It also represents misfortune and bad luck. The dream symbol has different significance depending on whether you are a cat lover or not. The cat could indicate that someone is being deceitful or treacherous toward you. If the cat is aggressive, then it suggests that you are having problems with the feminine aspect of yourself. If you are afraid of the cat in your dream, then it suggests that you are fearful of the feminine. If you see a cat with no tail, then it signifies a loss of independence and lack of autonomy.
Cattle
To see cattle in your dream indicates that you need to proceed with caution in some situation or relationship.
To see a herd of cattle in your dream represents a lack of individuality. You generally go with the flow of things. Alternatively, it symbolizes prosperity.
To see a stampede of cattle in your dream suggests that something in your life is out of control.
To dream that you are in a cemetery indicates an end to a habit or behavior. You are experiencing a rebirth. More directly, the dream may symbolize sadness, unresolved grief or your fears about death.
Chat Room
To dream that you are in a chat room represents your need to connect with others on a mental level. The dream could also mean that you are spending too much time in front of the computer and this has carried over into your dreams. You need to get out and socialize in the real world.
To see chickens in your dream symbolize cowardliness and a lack of willpower. The dream may be a pun on being a chicken or chickening out of some situation. Chickens also represent excessive chatter and gossip. Listen closely to what people may be saying about you or what you are saying about others.
To see a chimney in your dream represents warmth, tradition, and family values. Alternatively, a chimney symbolizes the phallus. So if the chimney is smoking, then it represents sexual release. If it is not smoking, then it signifies sexual tension or your need for sexual release. If the chimney collapses, then it implies impotence.
Chimpanzee
To see a chimpanzee in your dream suggests that what you thought was true is actually not. You are over-thinking an issue.
Christ
To see Christ in your dream represents perfection of the self and spiritual truth. You need to achieve self-fulfillment through love. This symbol has many personal associations for you, depending on your belief.
To see the outside of the church in your dream signifies sacredness and spiritual nourishment. It is representative of your value system and the things you hold sacred.
To dream that you are inside a church suggests that you are seeking for spiritual enlightenment and guidance. You are looking to be uplifted in some way. Perhaps you have made some past mistakes which have set you back on your path toward your goals. With proper support, you will get on the right track again. Alternatively, the dream may also mean that you are questioning and debating your life path and where it is leading.
To dream that you are at the circus indicates your desires for a more exciting life. Alternatively, it suggests that you are easily influenced or lured into dangerous situations. Sometimes you are giving off the wrong impression to others. Consider the significance of the various acts you see in your dream.
To see or work with clay in your dream represents creativity, flexibility and the ability to shape your mind or mold yourself to fit into a situation. It may also mean that you are able to manipulate things to your advantage. Alternatively, it indicates your need to set some goals and plans for yourself. You have some growing up to do and need to plan for the future. According to Freudian perspective, clay symbolizes feces.
To dream that you are standing at the edge of a cliff indicates that you have reached an increased level of understanding, new awareness, and a fresh point of view. You have reached a critical point in your life and cannot risk losing control. Alternatively, it suggests that you are pondering a life-altering decision.
To dream that you or someone falls off a cliff suggests that you are going through a difficult time and are afraid of what is ahead for you. You fear that you may not be up for the challenge or that you cannot meet the expectations of others.
To dream that you are climbing to the top of a cliff symbolizes your ambition and drive. The dream may parallel your desires to achieve success and to be the at the top of your profession.
To see fluffy, white clouds in your dream signify inner peace, spiritual harmony and compassion. An issue in your waking life may be clearing up.
To see dark or stormy clouds in your dream symbolize depression or anger. It indicates an impending eruption of emotions. Alternatively, it represents a lack of wisdom or confusion in some situation.
Coal
To see a coal in your dream represents wealth and prosperity. It also points to your unused potential. Alternatively, it indicates that you have been misbehaving and have been caught in the act.
Coffin
To see a coffin in your dream symbolizes the womb. It also signifies your thoughts and fears of death. If the coffin is empty, then it denotes irreconcilable differences. Alternatively, the coffin represents ideas and habits that are no longer of use and can be buried. In particular, if the coffin is white, then it refers to lost innocence.
To see a body in a coffin in your dream signifies that you are going through a period of depression. You may feel confined, restricted and that you are lacking personal freedom. There may be a dead or decaying situation or issue in your life that you need to address. It is time to end this situation or relationship.
To see coins in your dream indicate missed or overlooked opportunities that have come your way. To see gold coins in your dream represent success and wealth. Silver coins represent spirituality, intuition, values, and your sense of self-worth. Copper coins indicates healing.
To dream that you are in a coma indicates your helplessness and inability to function in some given situation. You are not prepared for the major changes that are happening around you. Alternatively, your dream coma state may reflect what is really happening to your body when you are in the dream stage of sleep
Construction
To dream that a building is under construction suggests that you need to work on some aspect of yourself and better your mind or body.
Crossing
To dream that you are crossing a street suggests that you are putting yourself in harm's way. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you like to go against the majority. As a result, you become the target of criticism.
To dream that you are crossing a river or some body of water symbolizes a spiritual change or reawakening.
Crow
To see a crow in your dream represents death and the darker aspects of your character. The dream could also be pointing out your annoying habits. Alternatively, the crow may be conveying a message from your subconscious.
To dream that you have a cut suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. Alternatively, it refers to feminine sexuality and feminine attitudes toward sex. In particular, if the cuts are on your legs, then it symbolizes an imbalance. You are unable to stand up for yourself.
To dream that you are cutting yourself indicates that you are experiencing some overwhelming turmoil or problems in your waking life. You are trying to disconnect yourself from the unbearable pain you are experiencing.
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