A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:

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1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.
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2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.
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3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
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4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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5. I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
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6. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
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7. Take my advice — I'm not using it.
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8. My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
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9. Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.
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10. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
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11. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
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12. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
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13. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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14. Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
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15. Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
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16. I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
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17. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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18. I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.
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19. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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20. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
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21. If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
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22. Money is the root of all wealth.
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23. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.