Just awesome.... Read it... !!

Jannat me sab kuch hai
lekin maut nahi hai,

Gita me sab kuch hai
lekin jhuth nahi hai,

Dunia me sab kuch hai
lekin sukun nahi hai,

Insaan me sab kuch hai
lekin sabar nahi hai....

Dosto........
Kya baat kare is duniya ki...
Har shakhs ke apne afsaane hai...

Jo samne hai use log bura kehte hai...
Jisko dekha nahi kabhi use sab"KHUDA"kehte hai..!!!

jab bachpan tha
to jawani ek dream tha
jab jawan huye
to bachpan desire hai..

jab ghar me rehte the
aazadi achi lagti thi
aaj akele hai
to har pal ghar k din yaad aate hai..

kabhi hotel me jana
pizza, burger khana
pasand tha
aaj ghar par aana
aur maa k hath k khane me hi jannat milti hai..

jinse zagadte the school me
un dosto ko aaj internet me talashte hai
aaj kal to khush rehne k tarike b hum
google me search marte hai..

facebook se dating
aur flipkart, ebay se shopping karte hai

ghar par b baat ab
skype/gtalk aur whatsapp se karte hai..

life ko
laptop aur mobile me samet diya hai
hum samazte hai humne
khud ko update kiya hai..

iss nayi duniya me humne
na jane kya ghuma diya hai
kab kya badla
hume kuch na pata chala hai..

paisa mila
naam mila
kuch hai hum b
ye b vishwas mila
lekin kya chhoda
kya tyaga humne
iska na hisab mila..

khushi kisme hoti hai
ye pata ab chala hai
bachpan kya tha
iska ehsas ab hua hai..

kash badal sakte hum
zindgi k kuch saal pichhle
kash ji sakte hum zindgi
ek bar fir se.... !!
Ek Pal ke liye Socho agar Dost na hote toh Hum kya......kya na kr Paate....!!
.
.
Nursery mei Gumm hua bottle ka cap kaise dhoondh paatey......
.
.
LKG mei A,B,C,D likh kr Gurur kise batate....
.
.
UKG me aakar Hum kiski Pencil uthate.....
.
.
1st mei button wala compass box kise dikhate....
.
.
2nd me girr jane par haath kiska paatey....
.
.
3rd me absent hone per copy kiski laatey....
.
.
4th me ladd jaane per daant kaise khate.....
.
.
5th mei fir Hum apna lunch kise chakhate....
.
.
6th mei teacher ki pitaai per Hum kise chidhate.....
.
.
7th mei khel kud mei Hum kise haratey.....
.
.
8th me Best Friend kehkr Hum kise milate....
.
.
9th me 'Algebric Expression' Hum kisse solve krvatey.....
.
.
10th mei Hum 'Reproduction' padh kar kise dekh Muskuratey.....
.
.
11th mei apni wali/apne wale ka Subject kise bata Paatey.....
.
.
12th mei durr hokar Aansu kiske Kandhe par Giratey....
.
.
Fir bahar ki iss duniya mei Hum kaise kadam uthatey, . . "Yhi toh Pyaar h" aise words kaha se aatey....
.
.
Mobile no. se lekar uske bhai kitne h kaise
jaan patey, . . Mummy, Papa,Di or Bhaiya ki kami kaise seh patey....
.
.
Har roz Copy Pen bhool kr College kaise
jaatey.....
.
.
"Arey Batana" Exam mei aisi awaz kise lagatey.....
.
.
Birthday per Cake kya Hum Khud hi apne chehre per lagate.....
.
.
Bematlab ki baaton per Hum kis per
chillatey.....
.
.
Degree milne ki khushi Hum kise
jata Paate....
.
.
Aisi hi Anginat Yaadon ko Hum kaise Jod
paatey.....
.
.
Shayad bina Doston k Hum Saans toh lete par........Zindagi na jee paatey.....


Ek Sach Chupa Hota Hai :- Jab Koi Kisi Ko Kehta Hai Ki "Mazaak Tha Yaar".

Ek Feeling Chupi Hoti Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Mujhe Koi Farq Nahi Padta".

Ek Dard Chupa Hota Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Its Ok".

Ek Zarurat Chupi Hoti Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Mujhe Akela Chhod Do".

Ek Gehri Baat Chupi Hoti Hai :- Jab Koi Kehta Hai "Pata Nahi".

Ek Samundar Chupa Hota Hai
 Baato Ka :- Jab Koi "Khamosh Rehta Hai".....

Isi liye ek Open Heart Surgery unit k baahar likha huwa tha k....

"Agar Dil Khol Lete Apne Yaaro Ke Saath,
To Aaj Kholna Na Padta Auozaro K Saath"
.

✒...if we lose a pen, we can buy new one; but if we lose a pen cap, we cannt buy it...so love your husband, coz all Dhakkans are important 
Always keep your husbands picture as mobile screen saver. Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: if I can handle this, I can handle anything!... 😛 
 Finally
Living with husband is a part of living.........but living with the same husband for years is 'art of living'!!!!!!!

क्या गुजरी होगी उस बुढ़ी माँ के दिल पर जब
उसकी बहु ने कहा -:"माँ जी,आप
अपना खाना बना लेना, मुझे और इन्हें आज एक
पार्टी में जाना है ...!!"बुढ़ी माँ ने कहा -:
"बेटी मुझे गैस
चुल्हा चलाना नहीं आता ...!!"तो बेटे ने
कहा -: "माँ, पास वाले मंदिर में आज
भंडारा है , तुम वहाँ चली जाओ
ना खाना बनाने की कोई नौबत
ही नहीं आयेगी....!!!"माँ चुपचाप अपनी चप्पल
पहन कर मंदिर की ओर हो चली.....यह
पुरा वाक्या 10 साल का बेटा रोहन सुन
रहा था | पार्टी में जाते वक्त रास्ते में रोहन
ने अपने पापा से कहा -:"पापा, मैं जब बहुत
बड़ा आदमी बन जाऊंगा ना तब मैं
भी अपना घर किसी मंदिर के पास
ही बनाऊंगा ....!!!माँ ने उत्सुकतावश पुछा -:
क्यों बेटा ?....रोहन ने जो जवाब दिया उसे
सुनकर उस बेटे और बहु का सिर शर्म से नीचे झुक
गया जो अपनी माँ को मंदिर में छोड़ आए
थे.....रोहन ने कहा -: क्योंकि माँ, जब मुझे
भी किसी दिन ऐसी ही किसी पार्टी में
जाना होगा तब तुम भी तो किसी मंदिर में
भंडारे में खाना खाने जाओगी ना और मैं
नहीं चाहता कि तुम्हें कहीं दूर के मंदिर में
जाना पड़े....!!!!पत्थर तब तक सलामत है जब तक
वो पर्वत से जुड़ा है .��पत्ता तब तक सलामत है
जब तक वो पेड़ से जुड़ा है .🌲इंसान तब तक सलामत
है जब तक वो परिवार से
जुड़ा है .��क्योंकि परिवार से अलग होकर
आज़ादी तो मिल जाती है लेकिन संस्कार चले
जाते हैं ..एक कब्र पर लिखा था..."किस
को क्या इलज़ाम दूं दोस्तो...,जिन्दगी में
सताने वाले भी अपने थे,और दफनाने वाले
भी अपने थे..

शोले के डायलाग संस्कृत में सुनिए !

१.बसंती इन कुत्तोंके सामने मत नाचना
|| हे बसन्ति एतेषां श्वानानाम् पुरत: मा नृत्य||

२.अरे ओ सांबा,कितना इनाम रखे हैं सरकार हमपर?
||हे साम्बा,सर्वकारेण कति पारितोषिकानि अस्माकं कृते उद्घोषितानि?

३.चल धन्नो आज तेरी बसंती की इज्जत का सवाल है
||धन्नो,(चलतु वा) धावतु अद्य तव बसन्त्य: लज्जाया: प्रश्न: अस्ति |

४.जो डर गया समजो वो मर गया
|| य भीत:भवेत् स:मृत:एव मन्य ||

५.आधे इधर जाओ, आधे उधर जाओ और बाकी हमारे साथ आओ
|| केचन पुरुषा:अत्र गच्छन्तु केचन पुरुषा: तत्र गच्छन्तु शेषा:पुरुषा:मया सह आगच्छतु||

६.सरदार, मैने आपका नमक खाया है
||हे प्रधानपुरुष: मया तव लवणम् खाद्यते ||

७.अब गोली खा.
||अधुना गोलीम् खाद ||

८.सुअर के बच्चो...||
हे सुकराणां अपत्यानि.....||

९.तेरा क्या होगा कालिया...|
| हे कालिया तव किं भवेत् ?

१०.ये हाथ मुझे दे दे ठाकुर
॥ ठाकुर ,यच्छतु मह्यं तव करौ ||

११.हम अंग्रेजों के जमाने के जेलर है|
||अहं आंग्लपुरुषाणाम् समयस्य कारानिरीक्षक: अस्ति ||

१२.तुम्हारा नाम क्या है बसंती?
||बसन्ति किं तव नामधेयम् ?

१३,होली कब है कब है होली..?
||कदा होलिकोस्तव: कदा होलिकोस्तव:?.....
😜😜😜

Ise kehte Naya Message
.

 bahut puraani baat hai....
Ek african apni family k sath jungle me hi rhta tha....
usane kabhi mirror nahi dekha tha..

1din jungle me use shisha mila.

😫Usme khud ko dekh kr smjha k uske baap ki tasvir h

😩aur. wo use apne ghar le gya or roz bate krne lga.

Uski biwi ko shak hua,

😇1din jb uska pati bahar gya hua tha to usne shisha bahar nikala

😛aur apni shakl dekh k boli :
"Accha..
To ye h wo Kal-muhi
jis se mera pati baaten krta hai"


Usne sheesha apni saas ko dikhaya,

😮To Saas boli :
"chinta mat kar ..
Shukar mana...
buddhi hai,
jaldi hi mar jayegi" :

😆

एक बंगाली बाबू ने गुलजार साहब के पाँव पकड़ लिए और गुजारिश करने लगा
 " दादा होम भी शायरी सिखेगा"
 .
 काफी मान मनौवत के बाद गुलजार साहब मान गए और बोले - जैसा मै बोलूँ तुम वैसा ही बोलना।
 .
 बंगाली बाबू:- ठीक है।
 .
 गुलजार साहब :-
 "ना गिला करुँगा,
 ना शिकवा करुँगा.....
 तू सलामत रहे इस दुनिया में,
 रब से यही दुआ करुँगा।"
 .
 बंगाली बाबू ने दोहराया:-
 "ना गीला कोरेगा,
 ना सूखा कोरेगा .....
 तुम साला, मत रहो इस दुनिया में,
 रोब से येही दुआ कोरेगा।"
गुलज़ार साहब बेहोश😀..

kaha us ne bharosa dil pe itna nahi kerte
kaha main ne mohabbat mein kabhi socha nahi kerte
kaha us ne bohut khush rang duniya k nazare hain
kaha main ne jab tum ho tu hum kuch dekha nahi kerte
kaha us ne main tum se door hon lakin tumhara hon
kaha main ne k sapne mein dil ko behlaya nahi kerte
kaha us ne tumhari chahat tumhain ruswayan de gi
kaha main ne shohrat se ghabraya nahi kerte
kaha us ne samajh jao samajh jao aey mere dost
kaha main ne k dewano ko samjhaya nahi kerte…

 Apni khaamosh zindagi mein bulana mujhko,
Apni haseen khwaab ki tasveer banana mujhko,
Main jo poochon tumhaara haal-e-dil,
Toh apni har dhadkan ki aawaaz sunaana mujhko...


 Woh hame chod ke chale jaye aisa dar lagta hai,
Dooriyan bewafai na ban jaye ye dar lagta hai,
Khuda ki kasam ham toh bas aapke hain,
Par aapki bewafai mein mar na jaye ye dar lagta hai...



 Dosti toh ek azmaaish hoti hai,
Dilon ko milane ki ek khwaish hoti hai,
Yaad nahi karte hum aapko,
Kyunki yaad unhein kiya jaata hai,
Jinhe bhulane ki gunjaish hoti hai!


 Apne asman se meri zameen dekh lo,
Tum khwab aaj koi hasindekh lo,
Aazmana hai agar aitbar ko mere,
To ek jhoot tum bolo or mera yakeen daikh lo.

बैंक में एक ग्राहक ने बैंक कर्मी से
बड़ी ही शालीनता से पूछा ?
ग्राहक :- मैडम जी , क्या मैं यह जान सकता हूँ
कि जो चेक मैंने अभी दिया है वो कितने दिन में क्लियर
होगा !
मैडम :- कम से कम दो , तीन लगेंगे !
ग्राहक :- लेकिन मैडम ,इतना टाइम क्यों लगेगा ? जिस
बैंक का चेक मैंने दिया है वो तो सामने वाली बिल्डिंग में
है !
मैडम ( बड़े ही शांत स्वर में ) :- सर , मैं आपको कैसे
समझाऊं , प्रोसीजर तो फॉलो करना पड़ता है न , मान
लीजिये कि शमशान के सामने ही आप मर जाते हैं
तो आपकी लाश को घर ले जायेंगे कि वहीँ सामने
निपटा देंगे ??? बोलिए !
ग्राहक बेहोश

कोई टोपी तो कोई अपनी पगड़ी बेच देताहै..
मिले अगर भाव अच्छा, जज भी कुर्सी बेच देता है,....

तवायफ फिर भी अच्छी, के वो सीमित है कोठेतक.
पुलिस वाला तो चौराहे पर वर्दी बेच देता है,..

जला दी जाती है ससुराल में अक्सरवही बेटी..
जिस बेटी की खातिर बाप किडनी बेच देता है,..

ये कलयुग है, कोई भी चीज़ नामुमकिन नहीं इसमे
कली, फल फूल, पेड़ पौधे सब माली बेच देता है,.

किसी ने मुहब्बत में दिल हारा है तो क्यूँ हैरत है लोगों को.
युद्धिष्ठिर तो जुएँ में अपनी पत्नी बेच देता है...!
🔶🔹🔶🔹🔶🔹🔶🔹🔶

एक बाबा किसी महफ़िल में गए।
वहां सब उनका मजाक उड़ाने लगे।
बाबा ने कहा , " देखो हम फ़क़ीर लोग हैं , हमारा मज़ाक न उड़ाए।
लोग खूब हंसे....।
 अचानक उन सबको दिखना बंद हो गया। यानि वे अंधे हो गए।😎
वो सब बाबा के कदमों में गिर गए ; " बोले बाबा जी हमें माफ़ कर दो।" 

बाबा जी ने जूता उतारा और सबके एक-एक मारा और बोले ; " कमीनों लाइट चली गई , कोई जेनरेटर ऑन करो मुझे भी दिखाई नहीं दे रहा है। "😤

दादागिरी
         
               एक छोटा बच्चा
                    रात में
              , plz भगवान्
        आप मुझे एक साइकिल दे दो
             मेरे सारे फ्रेंड्स के पास
                   साइकिल है
               और वह सो गया
             अगले दिन वह उठा
                       तो
                उसे साइकिल
                   नही मिली
             उसे गुस्सा आ गया !!
                  तब उसने
      गणेशजी की छोटी मूर्ति उठाई
                       और
           शंकर भगवान् से बोला
             अगर बच्चा चाहिए
                      तो
              शाम को 4 बजे
 साइकिल लेकर मंदिर के पीछे आ जाना !

Dedicated to all husbands!!!

wiwes read carefully!!!He may forget b'days or anniversary but never forget to pay bills after u had a lavish dinner....... After u step out of d shopping mall ...... After u spend an exotic holiday!!!!
He may b careless abt his own clothes shoes n accessories but never compromises wen buys jewellery fru ...... He may pretend to b strong n tough n gives u a sound sleep in his arms but never reveals d tension which makes him awake all d nite........ 😶
So girls proud to b a woman but cherish to have such a man in ur life!!!!hats off to all husbands!!!

RED LIGHT area me raid padi.

Police ne sabhi callgirls ko line me khada kiya.

Wahan se gujar rahi Budhiya ne ek girl se puchha: kya hua??

Callgirl ne kaha: Amma, Aam bat rahe hai!!

Budhiya bhi line me lag gai.

Jab Budhi ki bari ayi to Policeman ne kaha-Amma!Aap bhi??

Amma boli-
"bujurg hu to kya??
Choos to sakti hoon"

Enjoy summer wid mangoes 🍋🍋🍋

Husband walking behind his Wife says, "Baby u become so fat...ur bums look lyk a big tandoor🍯!!''
The wife keeps quiet and keeps walking...

At night the husband asks for sex.

Wife, Sorry Darling..I cant light up the big tandoor🍯 for just a small piece of kabab!!!


अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे !!!.

भले ही झगड़े, गुस्सा करे,
एक दूसरे पर टूट पड़े
एक दूसरे पर दादागिरि करने के लिये,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

जो कहना हे, वह कह ले,
जो करना हे, वह कर ले
एक दुसरे के चश्मे और
लकड़ी ढूँढने में,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

मैं रूठूं तो तुम मना लेना,
तुम रूठो ताे मै मना लूँगा
एक दुसरे को लाड़ लड़ाने के लिये,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

आँखे जब धुँधली होंगी,
याददाश्त जब कमजोर होंगी
तब एक दूसरे को एक दूसरे
मे ढूँढने के लिए,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

घुटने जब दुखने लगेंगे,
कमर भी झुकना बंद करेगी
तब एक दूसरे के पांव के नाखून काटने के लिए,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

"मेरी हेल्थ रिपोर्ट एक दम नॉर्मल
 है, आइ एम आलराईट
ऐसा कह कर ऐक दूसरे को
 बहकाने के लिए,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

साथ जब छूट जायेगा,
बिदाई की घड़ी जब आ जायेगी
तब एक दूसरे को माफ करने के लिए,
अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे.....


Wife : "why r u home so early?"

Hubby :
"My boss said go to hell!"
😆😋
Shortest Joke :
Doctor : Howz ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.:)
           

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
       (1) Mobile
       (2) Automobile
       (3) TV
       (4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in neighborhood
 ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling single again. ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
     
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

           ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆! .
🌞
Q- You know why women love shoes? 
A- Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit.. 

Q- Why can't Women Drive well? 
A- Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them.. 

Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle? 
A- There are no Shopping Centers.. 

Q- How to save a Dying Woman?
A- Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere.. 😋

Q- If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
A- Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day.. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The woman who invented the phrase "All men
are the same" was a Chinese woman who lost
her husband in a crowd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEWARE OF FEMALE DRIVERS:

After Accident, Driver Angrily said -
I showed you the Headlights and told u let
me go first.........

Female Driver- I also started the Wipers
and said No, No, No..

Driver fainted  !!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have
girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what
happened=))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wives are
magicians. ..... . . . . . . . . . . They
can change anything into an
argument😆
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY? A very INTELLIGENT man
replied: Women don't have a wife!😆
Send this to all men for a good laugh and to women who can handle it

IS MSG KO ZARUR PADHE. 
-------------------
एक जाने-माने स्पीकर ने हाथ में पांच
सौ का नोट लहराते हुए अपनी सेमीनार शुरू की.
हाल में बैठे सैकड़ों लोगों से उसने पूछा ,” ये पांच
सौ का नोट कौन लेना चाहता है?” हाथ उठना शुरू
हो गए.
फिर उसने कहा ,” मैं इस नोट को आपमें से
किसी एक को दूंगा पर उससे पहले मुझे ये कर
लेने दीजिये .” और उसने नोट को अपनी मुट्ठी में
चिमोड़ना शुरू कर दिया. और फिर उसने पूछा,”
कौन है जो अब भी यह नोट लेना चाहता है?”
अभी भी लोगों के हाथ उठने शुरू हो गए.
“अच्छा” उसने कहा,” अगर मैं ये कर दूं ? “ और
उसने नोट को नीचे गिराकर पैरों से कुचलना शुरू
कर दिया. उसने नोट उठाई , वह बिल्कुल
चिमुड़ी और गन्दी हो गयी थी.
“ क्या अभी भी कोई है जो इसे लेना चाहता है?”.
और एक बार फिर हाथ उठने शुरू हो गए.
“ दोस्तों , आप लोगों ने आज एक बहुत
महत्त्वपूर्ण पाठ सीखा है. मैंने इस नोट के साथ
इतना कुछ किया पर फिर भी आप इसे लेना चाहते
थे क्योंकि ये सब होने के बावजूद नोट की कीमत
घटी नहीं,उसका मूल्य अभी भी 500 था.
जीवन में कई बार हम गिरते हैं, हारते हैं, हमारे
लिए हुए निर्णय हमें मिटटी में मिला देते हैं. हमें
ऐसा लगने लगता है कि हमारी कोई कीमत नहीं है.
लेकिन आपके साथ चाहे जो हुआ हो या भविष्य में
जो हो जाए , आपका मूल्य कम नहीं होता. आप
स्पेशल हैं, इस बात को कभी मत भूलिए.
कभी भी बीते हुए कल की निराशा को आने वाले
कल के सपनो को बर्बाद मत करने दीजिये.
याद रखिये आपके पास जो सबसे कीमती चीज
है, वो है आपका जीवन.”

"7%"
Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%. Friends are the family that you choose.

Its worth reading again & again, as & when you can. 

हिंदी एक वैज्ञानिक भाषा है
और कोई भी अक्षर वैसा क्यूँ है
उसके पीछे कुछ कारण है ,
अंग्रेजी भाषा में ये
बात देखने में नहीं आती |
______________________
क, ख, ग, घ, ङ- कंठव्य कहे गए,
 क्योंकि इनके उच्चारण के समय
ध्वनि
कंठ से निकलती है।
एक बार बोल कर देखिये |

च, छ, ज, झ,ञ- तालव्य कहे गए,
क्योंकि इनके उच्चारण के
समय जीभ
तालू से लगती है।
एक बार बोल कर देखिये |

ट, ठ, ड, ढ , ण- मूर्धन्य कहे गए,
क्योंकि इनका उच्चारण जीभ के
मूर्धा से लगने पर ही सम्भव है।
एक बार बोल कर देखिये |
😀

त, थ, द, ध, न- दंतीय कहे गए,
क्योंकि इनके उच्चारण के
समय
जीभ दांतों से लगती है।
एक बार बोल कर देखिये |

प, फ, ब, भ, म,- ओष्ठ्य कहे गए,
क्योंकि इनका उच्चारण ओठों के
मिलने
पर ही होता है। एक बार बोल
कर देखिये ।
😀
________________________

हम अपनी भाषा पर गर्व
करते हैं ये सही है परन्तु लोगो को
इसका कारण भी बताईये |
इतनी वैज्ञानिकता
दुनिया की किसी भाषा मे
नही है
जय हिन्द 🙏
क,ख,ग क्या कहता है जरा गौर करें....
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
क - क्लेश मत करो
ख- खराब मत करो
ग- गर्व ना करो
घ- घमण्ड मत करो
च- चिँता मत करो
छ- छल-कपट मत करो
ज- जिम्मेदारी निभाओ
झ- झूठ मत बोलो
ट- टिप्पणी मत करो
ठ- ठगो मत
ड- डरपोक मत बनो
ढ- ढोंग ना करो
त- तैश मे मत रहो
थ- थको मत
द- दिलदार बनो
ध- धोखा मत करो
न- नम्र बनो
प- पाप मत करो
फ- फालतू काम मत करो
ब- बिगाङ मत करो
भ- भावुक बनो
म- मधुर बनो
य- यशश्वी बनो
र- रोओ मत
ल- लोभ मत करो
व- वैर मत करो
श- शत्रुता मत करो
ष- षटकोण की तरह स्थिर रहो
स- सच बोलो
ह- हँसमुख रहो
क्ष- क्षमा करो
त्र- त्रास मत करो
ज्ञ- ज्ञानी बनो !!
Please SHARE... ""

Nice one..it's different from all husband wife jokes....

अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे !!!.

भले झगडे, गुस्सा करे, एक दुसरे पर टुट पड़े
एक दुसरे पर दादागिरि करने के लिये, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

जो कह्ना हे  वह कह ले, जो करना हे वह कर ले
एक दुसरे के चश्मे और लकड़ी ढुंढने में, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

मे रूठु  तो तुम मना लेना, तुम रूढ़ो ताे  मै मना  लुगा
एक दुसरे को लाड़  लड़ानेके लिये, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

आँखे जब धुँधली होंगी, याददाश्त जब कमजोर होंगी
तब एक दूसरे को एक दूसरे मे ठूँढने के लिए, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

घुटने जब दुखने लगेंगे, कमर भी झुकना  बंद करेगी
तब एक दूसरे के पांव के नाखून काटने के लिए, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

"मेरी हेल्थ  रिपोर्ट  एक दम नोर्मल है, आइ एम आलराईट
 ऐसा कह कर ऐक दूसरे को बहकाने के लिए, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे

साथ जब छुट जायेगा, बीदाई की घड़ी  जब आजायेगी
तब एक दूसरे को माफ करने के लिए, अन्त में हम दोनों ही होंगे.

🌞Virginity is like a Balloon, One prick and it's gone for ever!

Sex is like a pack of Chips, Once you start!
You can't stop!

An Exam paper is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!

Education is like hiring a prostitute, It needs both your money and your hardwork ...👤!

💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand can let you achieve it!

Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !

 Fuck a woman and she Loves you. Love a woman when she Fucks you.


MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.


The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!

Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up

Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute

If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! 

If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible ask him to wear condom after sex!


So basically life is PORNOGRAPHY



किसी शायरने मौत को क्या खुब कहा है;
.
💞. .. जिंदगी मे २ मिनट कोई मेरे पास ना बैठा.. , आज सब मेरे पास बैठे जा रहे थे.. .
.
. .. कोई तौफा ना मिला आज तक.. , और आज फुल-हि-फुल दिये जा रहे थे.. .
.
. .. तरस गये थे हम किसी एक हाथ के लिये.. , और आज कंधे पे कंधे दिये जा रहे थे.. .
.
. .. दो कदम साथ चलने को तैयार न था कोई.. , और आज काफिला बन साथ चले जा रहे थे.. .
.
. .. आज पता चला मुझे कि "मौत" कितनी हसिन होती है.. . कम्बख्त. . . हम तो युहि 'जिंदगी' जिये जा रहे थे.. 💞

एक दिन दफ्तर से घर आते हुए पुरानी गर्ल फ्रेंड से भेट हो गयी

और जो बीवी से मिलने की जल्दी थी वह ज़रा से लेट हो गयी

जाते ही बीवी ने आँखे दिखाई -आदतानुसार हम पर चिल्लाई

तुम क्या समझते हो मुझे नहीं है किसी बात का इल्म

जरुर देख रहे होगे तुम सक्रेटरी के साथ कोई फिल्म

मैंने कहा - अरी पगली, घर आते हे ऐसे झिडकियां मत दिया कर

कभी तो छोड़ दे, मुझ बेचारे पर इस तरह शक मत किया कर

पत्नी फिर तेज होकर बोली - मुझे बेवकूफ बना रहे हो

6 बजे दफ्तर बंद होता है और तुम 10 बजे आ रहे हो

मैंने कहा अब छोड़ यह धुन - मेरी बात ज़रा ध्यान से सुन

एक आदमी का एक हज़ार का नोट खो गया था

और वह उसे ढूंढने के जिद्द पर अड़ा था

पत्नी बोली, तो तुम उसकी मदद कर रहे थे

मैंने कहा , नहीं रे पगली मै ही तो उस पर खड़ा था

सुनते ही पत्नी हो गयी लोट-पोट

और बोली कहाँ है वह हज़ार का नोट

मैंने कहा बाकी तो खर्च हो गया यह लो सौ रुपये

वह बोली क्या सब खा गए बाकी के 900 कहाँ गए

मैंने कहा : असल में जब उस नोट के ऊपर मै खडा था

तो एक लडकी की निगाह में उसी वक़्त मेरा पैर पडा था

कही वह कुछ बक ना दे इसलिए वह लडकी मनानी पडी

उसे उसी के पसंद के पिक्चर हाल में फिल्म दिखानी पडी

फिर उसे एक बढ़िया से रेस्टोरेन्ट में खाना खिलाना पड़ा

और फिर उसे अपनी बाइक से घर भी छोड़कर आना पड़ा

तब कहीं जाकर तुम्हारे लिए सौ रुपये बचा पाया हूँ

यूँ समझो जानू तुम्हारे लिए पानी पुरी का इंतजाम कर लाया हूँ

अब तो बीवी रजामंद थी - क्यूंकि पानी पुरी उसे बेहद पसंद थी

तुरंत मुस्कुराकर बोली : मै भी कितनी पागल हूँ इतनी देर से ऐसे ही बक बक किये जा रही थी

सच में आप मेरा कितना ख़याल रखते है और मै हूँ कि आप पर शक किये जा रही थी...

Actor Sunil Dutt married Nargis, a
Muslim. . Their son Sanjay is now
married to Dilnawaz Sheikh
(screen name Manyata).
Actor Hritik Roshan married
Suzanne Khan, daughter of actor
Sanjay Khan (Actual name Abbas
Khan).
Actor Atul Agnihotri married Alvira
Khan, actor Salman Khan’s Sister
and Salim Khan’s daughter.
Actor Feroz Khan’s daughter Laila
Khan Rajpal married Rohit Rajpal.
Urdu author Krishan Chander
married Salma Siddiqui.
One of the three daughters of
politician Najma Heptullah (niece
of Maulana Abul Kalam Azad) is
married to a Hindu.
Former Sheriff of Mumbai, Nana
Chudasama is a Hindu Gujarati
Rajput married Munaira
Jasdanvala, a Muslim . They have
two children- Akshay and Shaina,
both of whom are married to
Hindus. Shaina (popularly known
as Shaina NC) is national
spokesperson BJP .
Actor Sanjay Khan’s daughter
Simone Khan is married to Ajay
Arora (and other daughter
Suzanne to Hritik Roshan)
Actor Aditya Pancholi is married
to actor Zarina Wahab.
Cricketer Ajit Agarkar, a
Maharashtrian Brahmin, is
married to Fatima Ghadially.
Actor Sunil Shetty is married to
Mana Qadri, daughter of a
reputed Muslim architect of
Mumbai.
Congress MP Sachin Pilot, son of
Late Rajesh Pilot is married to
Sarah Abdullah, Daughter of
Former J&K Chief Minister Farooq
Abdullah.
Actor Govinda’s father, small time
actor Arun Ahuja married Nazeem,
later known as Nirmala Devi
(Govinda’s mother).
Zubeida, a Muslim girl from a
prominent Mumbai family was
pushed into marrying a Muslim
youth in 1947. The husband
divorced her when she refused to
migrate to Pakistan with him. She
later married Hanuwant Singh,
the then Maharaja of Jodhpur.
Both later died in an unexplained
air crash. She was the mother of
film critic-turned director Khalid
Mohammed (‘Fizaa’, ‘Tehzeeb’,
‘Silsilay’). Khalid wrote the script
of film ‘Zubeida’ which was
directed by Shyam Benegal with
Karishma Kapur in the title role.
Director/Choreographer Farah
Khan married director-editor
Shirish Kunder.
Gangster turned Politician Arun
Gawli from Mumbai married a
Muslim lady named Ayesha who
later took up the name Asha.
Manoj Bajpai married actor
Shabana Raza whose screen name
was Neha. She made her debut in
Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s ‘Kareeb’
opposite Bobby Deol.
Nayyara Mirza, Miss India finalist
of 1967, was the first Muslim to
participate in the pageant. She
converted to Hinduism after
marriage and became Nalini Patel.
She is settled in the USA.
Noted English writer Anil Dharkar
is married to Imtiaz, a Pakistani
Muslim. Their daughter Ayesha is
an actor who came to limelight
with Santosh Sivan’s film ‘The
Terrorist’ where she played a
suicide bomber.
Legendary actor Waheeda Rahman
married Shashi Rekhi, the Punjabi
Hindu actor who acted opposite
her in the film ‘Shagun’. (His
screen name was Kamaljeet).
Choreographer Saroj Khan got
married at young age to bollywood
dance master B Sohanlal. They
had 2 kids, Kuku and
Choreographer Raju Khan (also
director of the film ‘Showbiz’).
Raj Babbar married stage actress
Nadira Zaheer, daughter of
Communist parents.
Actress – activist Nafisa Ali, a
former Miss India, is married to
Colonel (retired) Sodhi, a Sikh .
writer Nasira Sharma is a Muslim
married to a Hindu.
Yesteryear’s actor Mumtaz married
Mayur Madhvani, a businessman.
Mumtaz’s sister, Mallika married
Dara Singh’s brother, Randhawa
who featured in many stunt films
of 60′s.
The ex Naval Chief Admiral Vishnu
Bhagwat is married to Niloufer .
Actor -singer Kishore Kumar
married Madhubala (real name
Mumtaz Begum) in 1960.
Madhubala’s sister Zahida
married music director Brij
Bhushan Sahni .
Sir VS Naipaul, Trinidad based
writer of International reputation,
is a Hindu (of Indian origin)
married to a Pakistani Muslim
called Nadia.
Actor Asha Parekh’s father was a
Gujarati Hindu and mother, a
Muslim.
The niece of actor Raza Murad,
Sonam (actual name Bakhtawar),
best known as the ‘Tridev’ girl,
married Rajeev Rai, producer and
director of that film.
Maharashtra politician Late Hamid
Dalwai’s daughter married Sharad
Chavan.
Yesteryear’s actor Rehana Sultan,
known for her bold, controversial
films like ‘Chetna’ and ‘Dastak’ in
late 70s, married producer –
director B R Ishara, a Hindu.
Veteran actress Zohra Sehgal
(originally Khan) married Late
Kamaleshwar Nath Sehgal.
TV Actress Tasneem Sheikh is
married to builder Sameer
Nerurkar. Her post-mariage name
is Tanisha Nerurkar.
Pakistani actress Anita Ayub who
appeared in some films in 90s,
got married to Saumil Patel and is
now settled in USA.
congress MP from Assam, Rani
Narah was originally Jahan Ara
Chaudhary before she married
Politician Bharat Chandra Narah
and converted to Hinduism.
Filmmaker Tinu Anand (Also
known as Virender Raj Anand,
director of ‘Shahanshah’) is
married to actress Shahnaz (sister
of actor Jalal Agha. Acted in ‘Saat
Hindustani’).
Roshan Ara, Daughter of Ustad
Allauddin Khan married Ustad
Ravi Shankar and became the
famous Sitar Player Annapurna
Devi.
Ghazal singer Pankaj Udhas is
married to Fareeda.
Yesteryear’s actress Zahida
(Hussain) who acted opposite Dev
Anand in ‘Gambler’ and ‘Prem
Pujari’ and opposite Sanjeev
Kumar in ‘Anokhi Raat’, married
Mr KN Sahay. She is actor Sanjay
Dutt’s cousin.
actor Nirmal Pandey was married
to Kausar Munir, a lyricist in
Bollywood.
Actress Tabassum known for her
TV show ‘Phool Khile Hai Gulshan
Gulshan’ on DD is the daughter of
Ayodhyanath and Asghari. She is
married to Vijay, brother of actor
Arun Govil (Lord Ram of TV Serial
‘Ramayan’).
Model Feroze Gujral is the
daughter of a Christian father,
George and a Muslim mother,
Viqar. She is married to Mohit,
son of painter Satish Gujral.
Filmmaker Hansal Mehta
(Woodstock Villa, Chhal, Yeh Kya
Ho Raha Hai) is married to Safina,
daughter of actor Yusuf Hussain
who does supporting roles in
bollywood.
Theatre actress Ayesha Raza is
married to actor Kumud Mishra.
Iconic bollywood villain Ranjeet
(Bedi) is married to Nazneen.
‘Raam Teri Ganga Maili’ star
Mandakini (real name Yasmeen)
was born to a Christian father and
a Muslim mother. She is married
to one Dr Thakur -nepali Hindu
settled in Mumbai .
Cricketer Manoj Prabhakar is
married to Farheen, an actress
who was seen in a few films in
the 90s and was noted for her
resemblance to Madhuri Dixit.
World-famous beauty expert and
entrepreneur Shahnaz Husain is
married to a Hindu businessman
RK Puri.
News anchor Sehar Zaman
(presently with CNN IBN) is
married to writer Dhiraj Singh.
Now this isn't love-Jihad.....????

 "हर नज़र को 1 निगाह का हक़ है,
हर नूर को 1 आह का हक़ है.
हम भी दिल लेकर आये है इस दुनिया में,
हमे भी तो 1 गुनाह करने का हक़ है"

 "सितारों को रौशनी की क्या ज़रूरत,
ये तो खुद को जला लेते है.
आशिकों को वफ़ा की क्या ज़रूरत,
वो तो बेवफा को भी प्यार कर लेते है."


 "उल्फत की जंजीर से डर लगता हैं,
कुछ अपनी ही तकदीर से डर लगता हैं,
जो जुदा करते हैं, किसी को किसी से,
हाथ की बस उसी लकीर से डर लगता हैं."


 "इस दुनियाँ में सब कुछ बिकता है,
फिर जुदाई ही रिश्वत क्युँ नही लेती?
मरता नहीं है कोई किसी से जुदा होकर,
बस यादें ही हैं जो जीने नहीं देती.."

jeevan

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

"जब मुझे यकीन है के भगवान मेरे साथ है।
तो इस से कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता के कौन कौन मेरे खिलाफ है।।"

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

तजुर्बे ने एक बात सिखाई है...
एक नया दर्द ही...
पुराने दर्द की दवाई है...!!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

हंसने की इच्छा ना हो...
तो भी हसना पड़ता है...
कोई जब पूछे कैसे हो...??
तो मजे में हूँ कहना पड़ता है..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

ये ज़िन्दगी का रंगमंच है दोस्तों....
यहाँ हर एक को नाटक करना पड़ता है.
"माचिस की ज़रूरत यहाँ नहीं पड़ती..
यहाँ आदमी आदमी से जलता है...!!"

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

मंदिर में फूल चढ़ा कर आए तो यह एहसास हुआ कि...

पत्थरों को मनाने में,
फूलों का क़त्ल कर आए हम।

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

गए थे गुनाहों की माफ़ी माँगने ....
वहाँ एक और गुनाह कर आए हम ....

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

जल जाते हैं मेरे अंदाज़ से मेरे दुश्मन
क्यूंकिएक मुद्दत से मैंने न मोहब्बत बदली और न दोस्त बदले .!!.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

एक घड़ी ख़रीदकर हाथ मे क्या बाँध ली..
वक़्त पीछे ही पड़ गया मेरे..!!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

सोचा था घर बना कर बैठुंगा सुकून से..
पर घर की ज़रूरतों ने मुसाफ़िर बना डाला !!!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

सुकून की बात मत कर ऐ ग़ालिब....
बचपन वाला 'इतवार' अब नहीं आता |

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

जीवन की भाग-दौड़ में -
क्यूँ वक़्त के साथ रंगत खो जाती है ?
हँसती-खेलती ज़िन्दगी भी आम हो जाती है..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

एक सवेरा था जब हँस कर उठते थे हम
और
आज कई बार
बिना मुस्कुराये ही शाम हो जाती है..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

कितने दूर निकल गए,
रिश्तो को निभाते निभाते..
खुद को खो दिया हमने,
अपनों को पाते पाते..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

लोग कहते है हम मुस्कुराते बहोत है,
और हम थक गए दर्द छुपाते छुपाते..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

"खुश हूँ और सबको खुश रखता हूँ,
लापरवाह हूँ फिर भी सबकी परवाह
करता हूँ..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

चाहता तो हु की ये दुनियाबदल दू ....
पर दो वक़्त की रोटी केजुगाड़ में फुर्सत नहीं मिलती दोस्तों

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

युं ही हम दिल को साफ़ रखा करते थे .
पता नही था की, 'किमत चेहरों की होती है!!'

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

अगर खुदा नहीं हे तो उसका ज़िक्र क्यों ??
और अगर खुदा हे तो फिर फिक्र क्यों ???

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

"दो बातें इंसान को अपनों से दूर कर देती हैं,
एक उसका 'अहम' और दूसरा उसका 'वहम'..

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

" पैसे से सुख कभी खरीदा नहीं जाताऔर दुःख का कोई खरीदार नहीं होता।"

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕


किसी की गलतियों को बेनक़ाब ना कर,

'ईश्वर' बैठा है, तू हिसाब ना कर.

importance of nos

The importance of number  in an Indian's life!

😬4 dino ka pyar o rabba badi lambi judai...
😛4 dino ki chandni, phir andheri raat

4 kitabein toh parh li,
 Ab 4 paise bhi kama lo...

Akhir hamari bhi 4 logon me izzat hai

😆Ye bat 4 log sunege to kya kahege... ke 4 din ki aai bahu ne ye kamal kia

😎4 din to ghar me tik ke baith jati

😛Tum se kya 4 qadam bhi nahi chala jata?

Wo aai aur 4 baten suna ke chali gayi

Aur finally ye sab bhulne ke liye

4 bottle vodka kaam mera roz ka

insaan

 इंसान दुनिया में तीन चीज़ो के लिए मेहनत करता है

1-मेरा नाम ऊँचा हो .
२ -मेरा लिबास अच्छा हो .
3-मेरा मकान खूबसूरत हो ..

लेकिन इंसान के मरते ही भगवान उसकी तीनों चीज़े
सबसे पहले बदल देता है

१- नाम = (स्वर्गीय )
२- लिबास = (कफन )
३-मकान = ( श्मशान )

जीवन की कड़वी सच्चाई जिसे हम समझना नहीं चाहते 

ये चन्द पंक्तियाँ
जिसने भी लिखी है
खूब लिखी है

एक पथ्थर सिर्फ एक बार मंदिर जाता है और भगवान बन जाता है ..
इंसान हर रोज़ मंदिर जाते है फिर भी पथ्थर ही रहते है ..!!
 NICE LINE
एक औरत बेटे को जन्म देने के लिये अपनी सुन्दरता त्याग देती है.......
और
वही बेटा एक सुन्दर बीवी के लिए अपनी माँ को त्याग देता है
********[**********]*****
जीवन में हर जगह
हम "जीत" चाहते हैं...

सिर्फ फूलवाले की दूकान ऐसी है
जहाँ हम कहते हैं कि
"हार" चाहिए।

क्योंकि

हम भगवान से
"जीत" नहीं सकते।

➖➖➖➖➖

धीमें से पढ़े बहुत ही
अर्थपूर्ण है यह मेसेज...

हम और हमारे ईश्वर,
दोनों एक जैसे हैं।

जो रोज़ भूल जाते हैं...


वो हमारी गलतियों को,
हम उसकी मेहरबानियों को।

➖➖➖➖➖

🔷 एक सुविचार 🔷

वक़्त का पता नहीं चलता अपनों के साथ.....

पर अपनों का पता चलता है,
वक़्त के साथ...

वक़्त नहीं बदलता अपनों के साथ,

पर अपने ज़रूर बदल जाते हैं वक़्त के साथ...!!!
➖➖➖➖➖

💯%✔

ज़िन्दगी पल-पल ढलती है,

जैसे रेत मुट्ठी से फिसलती है...

शिकवे कितने भी हो हर पल,
फिर भी हँसते रहना...

क्योंकि ये ज़िन्दगी जैसी भी है,
बस एक ही बार मिलती है।

joke


Yeh to ultimate Hai....

A VILLAGER WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HIS wife for 4 years while his wife was in their native place.

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how's this "Happy
event" happened,when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in der village that neighbour's take care of the wife when men are away.

The confusd colleagues askd"Hw will u ppl decide d surname for ur children?"

The man explained, "If its the Second Neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be "DWIVEDI"...

If it is the Third Neighbour then it would be "TRIVEDI"...

If it is the Fourth Neighbour then it
would be "CHATURVEDI"...

If its the Fifth Neighbour then it would be "PANDEY"...

After listening to this, questions followed,"What if it is a Mixture of Neighbours ?"

"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

"And what if the Wife is Too Shy to tell the name of the neighbour ?"

Then it would be "SHARMA"...

"But what if She Refuses to Divulge the Name of the Neighbour ?"

Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

"If She Does Not Remember the name then ?'

"It is YAAD-AV"...

"But who knows whether the child resulted from a Rape ?'

Then it will be named "DOSHI"...

"Finally, if the child happened because of Wife's Burning Desire ?"

Then he will be named "JOSHI"...

"And if the Whole Village had made Efforts for the Happy Arrival ?"

"DESHPANDEY"  😛
Absolute Classic!!!

joke

👪शादी शुदा मर्दो को लिए एक सलाह,
जब भी फ्रिज से पानी की बोतल निकालो,तो उसे भर कर ही वापस रखो वरना..
लेक्चर पानी की बोतल से शुरू होगा और दारु की बोतल पर खत्म होगा,,,,,❗

xtra ordinary lines

XTRA ORDINARY INTERESTING LINES : भगवान से वरदान माँगा
     कि दुश्मनों से
         पीछा छुड़वा दो,
            अचानक दोस्त
                कम हो गए...

º•○●º•○●º•○●º•○●º•○●

" जितनी भीड़ ,
     बढ़ रही
       ज़माने में..।
         लोग उतनें ही,
           अकेले होते
             जा रहे हे...।।।

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इस दुनिया के
   लोग भी कितने
      अजीब है ना ;

          सारे खिलौने
             छोड़ कर
                जज़बातों से
                   खेलते हैं...

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किनारे पर तैरने वाली
   लाश को देखकर
      ये समझ आया...
         बोझ शरीर का नही
            साँसों का था....

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दोस्तो के साथ
   जीने का इक मौका
      दे दे ऐ खुदा...
         तेरे साथ तो
            हम मरने के बाद
              भी रह लेंगे....

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“तारीख हज़ार
    साल में बस इतनी
       सी बदली है…
          तब दौर
             पत्थर का था
                अब लोग
                   पत्थर के हैं..."

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हम वक्त और
   हालात के
      साथ 'शौक'
         बदलते हैं,,
            दोस्त नही ... !!

º•○k●º•○●º•○●aº•○●º•○d●

badhi

उफनाई है और चढ़ी हैं
दुख से नदियां फूट पड़ी है ।

पहले दिन छोटे लगते थे
अब लगता है रात बड़ी है
।

बाजारों में प्यार बढ़ा है
घर में पर तक़रार बढ़ी है
।

महंगे कपडे , लंबी गाड़ी
आंख मगर उजड़ी-उजड़ी है ।

एक झोली भर ख़्वाब मिले हैं
आंखों से तो नींद उड़ी है ।

सपने थक कर घर लौटे हैं
देहरी पर एक आस खड़ी है ।

सबकी मुश्किल हर लेती है
घर के मुखिया की पगड़ी है ।

agar zindagi

💥अगर जींदगी मे
कुछ पाना हो तो,,,
तरीके बदलो....., ईरादे नही..


💥जब सड़क पर बारात नाच
रही हो तो हॉर्न मार-मार
के परेशान ना हो......
गाडी से उतरकर थोड़ा
नाच लें...,
मन शान्त होगा।
टाइम तो उतना लगना ही है..!


💥इस कलयुग में
रूपया चाहे कितना भी
गिर जाए,
इतना कभी नहीं गिर पायेगा,
जितना रूपये के लिए
इंसान गिर चूका है...
सत्य वचन....


💥रास्ते में अगर मंदिर
देखो तो,,,
प्रार्थना नहीं करो तो चलेगा
.
.
पर
रास्ते में एम्बुलेंस मिले
तब प्रार्थना जरूर करना,,,
शायद कोई जिन्दगी बच जाये


💥जिसके पास उम्मीद हैं,
वो लाख बार हार के भी,
नही हार सकता..!


💥बादाम खाने से
उतनी अक्ल नहीं आती...
जितनी
धोखा खाने से
आती है.....!


💥एक बहुत अच्छी बात
जो जिन्दगी भर याद रखिये,,,
आप का खुश रहना
ही आप का बुरा चाहने
वालों के लिए
सबसे बड़ी सजा है....!


💥खुबसूरत लोग हमेशा
अच्छे नहीं होते,
अच्छे लोग हमेशा खूबसूरत
नहीं होते...!


💥रिश्ते और रास्ते एक
ही सिक्के के दो पहलु हैं...
कभी रिश्ते निभाते निभाते
रास्ते खो जाते हैं,,,
और कभी रास्तो पर
चलते चलते रिश्ते बन जाते हैं...!


💥बेहतरीन इंसान
अपनी मीठी जुबान
से ही जाना जाता है,,,,
वरना
अच्छी बातें तो दीवारों
पर भी लिखी होती है...!


💥दुनिया में कोई काम "impossible" नहीं,,,
बस होसला और
मेहनत की जरूरत है...l


पहले मैं होशियार था,
इसलिए दुनिया
बदलने चला था,,,
आज मैं समझदार हूँ,
इसलिए खुद को बदल रहा हूँ...।।


married

For all the married victims
 A man got a call 📞 from unknown number..
 Girl:"Hi, r u single.. ??
 Man:"Yes, but who r u.. ??
 Ans:"Your wife..
 Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi..

Another call from unknown number..
 Girl:"R u married.. ??
Man:"Yes, but who R u.. ??
 Girl:"Your girlfriend, U cheat..
 Man:"Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..
 Ans:"Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar aaja.

Ek Bar Radha

Ek Bar Radha Ji Ne Krishna Se Puchha: Gussa Kya Hai..?
Bahut Khubsurat Jawab Mila: Kisi Ki Galti Ki Saza Khud Ko Dena..!

🌻🌻🌻🌹🌻🌻🌻

Ek Bar Radha Ne Krishna Se Puchha: Dost Aur Pyar Me Kya Fark Hota Hai..?
Krishna Has Kar Bole: Pyar Sona Hai..Aur Dost Heera..Sona Tut Kar Dubara Ban Sakta Hai..Magar Heera Nahi..!

🌹🌹🌹🌻🌹🌹🌹

Ek Bar Radha Ji Ne Krishna Ji Se Puchha: Main Kaha Kaha Hu..?
Krishna Ne Kaha: Tum Mere Dil Me..Sans Me..Jigar Me..Dhadkan Me..Tan Me..Man Me..Har Jagah Ho..!
Fir Radha Ji Ne Puchha: Main Kaha Nahi Hu..?
To Krishna Ne Kaha: Meri Kismat Me..!

🌻🌻🌻🌹🌻🌻🌻

Radha Ne Shri Krishna Se Puchha: Pyar Ka Asli Matlab Kya Hota Hai..?
Shri Krishna Ne Has Kar Kaha: Jaha Matlab Hota Hai..Waha Pyar Hi Kaha Hota Hai..!

🌹🌹🌹🌻🌹🌹🌹

Ek Bar Radha Ne Krishna Se Puchha: Apne Mujhse Kiya..Lekin Shadi Rukmani Se Ki..Aisa Kyu..?
Krishna Ne Haste Hue Kaha: Radhe..Shadi Me Do Log Chahiye....Aur Hum To Ek Hai....
😀😀😀😀😀😀
😀

management lesson

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..

One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.

The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat approached the horse and said: - Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.

The goat came back and said: - Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up.
Let's go! One, two, three...

On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party. Let's Cook the goat!!!! 

Lesson:

Management never knows which employee actually deserves the appraisal. 
Wonderful story and what a powerful message

ek mahila

एक महिला घर पर अकेली थी,
तभी दरवाजे पर दस्तक हुई !
उसने जैसे ही दरवाजा खोला तो एक अनजान आदमी खड़ा था !
देखते ही बोला: अरे आप तो बहुत ही खूबसूरत हैं !
महिला घबरा कर दरवाजा बंद कर देती है !
अगले तीन चार दिन तक ऐसा ही चलता रहता है, तो सभ्य महिला ने तँग आकर यह बात अपने पति को बताई !.
पति बोला: तुम चिंता मत करो, आज जब वो आएगा तो मैं घर पर ही रहुंगा और दरवाजे के पीछे खड़ा रहूँगा !
तुम उससे बोल देना, "हाँ मैं सुन्दर हूँ, तुम्हे क्या ?
"फिर मैं उसको मज़ा चखाता हूँ !.
.
.
दूसरे दिन जैसे ही वो आदमी आता है, पति दरवाजे के पीछे छिपा रहता है !
आदमी बोलता है: अरे आप तो बेहद खूबसूरत हैं !
महिला: हाँ मैं खूबसूरत हूँ , लेकिन तुम चार दिन से क्या चाह रहे हो ?
आदमी विनम्रता के साथ हाथ जोड़ कर बोला: "बहन जी, यही विश्वास और अहसास आप अपने पति के अंदर जागृत कीजिये, ताकि वो मेरी बीबी का पीछा करना छोड़ दे..

40 Amazing Facts About the Human Body!

How long does a human hair live for? What's the strongest muscle in the body? 
These questions and many other bizarre quandries will be answered in this extra fascinating list of 40 amazing facts about the body you call your home!


1. The brain is more active at night than during the day. Scientists don't know yet why this is.


2. The higher your IQ, the more you supposedly dream.

3. Facial hair grows faster than any other hair on the body.

4. The nail on the middle finger grows faster than the other fingernails.

5. Fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toe nails.

6. The lifespan of a human hair is 3 to 7 years on average.

7. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve zinc. It doesn't destroy the stomach
 because because the stomach walls constantly renews itself.

8. Women's hearts beat faster than men's.

9. Women blink twice as many times as men do.

10. Women are born better smellers than men and remain better smellers over life.

11. Men burn fat faster than women by a rate of about 50 calories a day.

12. Men get hiccups more often than women.

13. A man has approximately 6.8 litres of blood in the body while women have approximately 5 litres.

14. The largest cell in the body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

15. During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.

16. Babies are always born with blue eyes. The melanin in their eyes needs time to be fully deposited or to be darkened by ultraviolet light to reveal the baby's true eye color.

 17. Men have erections every hour to hour and a half during sleep. This is because the combination of blood circulation and testerone production can cause erections during sleep and are a necessary part of REM sleep.

18. After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.

19. If your saliva cannot dissolve or mix with food, you will not be able to taste that food (try tasting something after drying off your tongue)

20. Noise causes the pupils of your eyes to dilate. Even very small noises can do this.

Stop Smoking Benefits

what happens to your body if you stop smoking right now Within ...
# 20 minutes - Your blood pressure, pulse rate, and the temperature of your hands and feet will all return to normal.

# 8 hours - Remaining nicotine in your bloodstream will have fallen to 6.25% of normal peak daily levels, a 93.25% reduction.

# 12 hours - Your blood oxygen level will have increased to normal and carbon monoxide levels will have dropped to normal.

# 24 hours - Anxieties peak and within two weeks should return to near pre-cessation levels.

# 48 hours - Damaged nerve endings have started to regrow and your sense of smell and taste are beginning to return to normal. Cessation anger and irritability peaks.

# 72 hours - Your entire body will test 100% nicotine-free and over 90% of all nicotine metabolites (the chemicals it breaks down into) will now have passed from your body via your urine. Symptoms of chemical withdrawal have peaked in intensity, including restlessness. The number of cue induced crave episodes will peak for the "average" ex-user. Lung bronchial tubes leading to air sacs (alveoli) are beginning to relax in recovering smokers. Breathing is becoming easier and the lungs functional abilities are starting to increase.

# 5 - 8 days - The "average" ex-smoker will encounter an "average" of three cue induced crave episodes per day. Although we may not be "average" and although serious cessation time distortion can make minutes feel like hours, it is unlikely that any single episode will last longer than 3 minutes. Keep a clock handy and time them.

# 10 days - The "average ex-user is down to encountering less than two crave episodes per day, each less than 3 minutes.

# 10 days to 2 weeks - Recovery has likely progressed to the point where your addiction is no longer doing the talking. Blood circulation in our gums and teeth are now similar to that of a non-user.

# 2 to 4 weeks - Cessation related anger, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, impatience, insomnia, restlessness and depression have ended. If still experiencing any of these symptoms get seen and evaluated by your physician.

# 21 days - Brain acetylcholine receptor counts up-regulated in response to nicotine's presence have now down-regulated and receptor binding has returned to levels seen in the brains of non-smokers.

# 2 weeks to 3 months - Your heart attack risk has started to drop. Your lung function is beginning to improve.

# 3 weeks to 3 months - Your circulation has substantially improved. Walking has become easier. Your chronic cough, if any, has likely disappeared.

# 1 to 9 months - Any smoking related sinus congestion, fatigue or shortness of breath have decreased. Cilia have regrown in your lungs thereby increasing their ability to handle mucus, keep your lungs clean, and reduce infections. Your body's overall energy has increased.

# 1 year - Your excess risk of coronary heart disease has dropped to less than half that of a smoker.

# 5 to 15 years - Your risk of stroke has declined to that of a non-smoker.

# 10 years - Your risk of death from lung cancer has declined by almost half if you were an average smoker (one pack per day). Your risk of cancer of the mouth, throat and esophagus has now decreased.

# 15 years - Your risk of coronary heart disease is now that of a person who has never smoked.

See the cigarette and decide yourself

Drinking Water On Empty Stomach

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. 

For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases: Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

METHOD OF TREATMENT
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
2.. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal. 
4. After breakfast lunch and dinner followed by warm water, do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning of the day,may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses . 
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/ reduce main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure (30 days)
2. Gastric (10 days)
3. Diabetes (30 days)
4. Constipation (10 days)
5. Cancer (180 days)
6. TB (90 days)

Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards daily.

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times. It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

This makes sense .The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals,not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.

It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.

Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks:
1. Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.
2. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
3. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
4. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
5. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.

6. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. 

Let's be careful and be aware.The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

Divorce-Proof Marriage:

1. Do it by surprise from time to time, leave love notes around the house.

2.Work as a team.

3. Say i love you to one another everyday.

4. Give a hug or kiss everyday

5. Do not withold sex unless its a mutual consent or special circumstances!

6. At least one date night once a week, and go over and beyond to make it special

7. Become each others best friend

8. Let no one get involved with your marital affairs includes parents, in laws and friends!

9. Exercise and work out together

10. Put your children first, then your marriage, then your extended family, then everything else in thats order.

11. Become transparent with one another.

12. Set boundaries for your marriage. It's important that you both know what you can and cannot do.

13. Lay aside your pride and ego – the winner of the argument is usually the loser!

14. Make his or her favorite meal. 

15. Do things your spouse loves without you basing it on their performance.

16. Don’t go tit for tat. Learn to let go.

17. Don’t let the sun go down while you angry – another words try to resolve the issue asap

18. Fellowship, and get around other happily married couples

19. Plan and surprise your spouse with a romantic vacations as your budget allows

20. Live a healthy lifestyle

21. Look into his or her eyes, touch their face and give thanks for him or her who puts up with you during the good and bad times

22. Don’t lie to each other. A hard truth is always better then an easy lie

23. Ask your mate if their are any needs going unmet.

24. Spend some type of quality time with your spouse

25. Invest in your marriage – do a marriage retreat at least 2x a year

26. Read Quran together and discuss God's plan for marriage.

27. Renew your vows – remember your promise to your spouse at the alter – for better or worse in sickness and in health.

28. Be ready to make many sacrifices – things you may not feel like doing – but do them anyway

29. Be ready to make many compromises.

30. Listen to your spouse’s guidance.

31. Ask your mate for areas where they can improve in.

32. Hear one another out.

33. Try to resolve problems and issues when your both calm.

34. Instead of trying to be right look for the solution that brings peace.

35. Do not use sarcasm.

36. Tell your spouse you can’t live without them.

37. If you know you did wrong, be ready to make things right.

38. Be ready to apologize and be ready to forgive when the situation arises.

39. Fight for your marriage!

40. Don’t focus on your spouse weakness but focus on their strengths.

41. Keep good company around you and your ,you want people who can encourage and uplift you!

42. Husbands help out around the house – remember that your wife is a helpmate but that doesnt mean she does everything.

43. Wives encourage your husband give them praise, it strengthens them.

44. Find out your strengths and weaknesses and be ready to help one another with where you are weak.

45. Support one anothers goals and dreams.

46. Always consult one another when making big decisions

47. Give many compliments to one another

48. Understand the grass is not greener , you just have to water your lawn more

49. Don’t compare your marriage with someone else’s – you dont know whats goign on behind closed doors

50. Watch what you take into your spirit. Today’s reality shows, our society’s view, and what you see on tv are not good examples for marriage.

51. Never embarass your spouse in public – deal with your issues in private

52. Wives spend time encouraging him and supporting him and their is nothing you won’t happily get.

53. Do not verbally abuse your spouse.

54. Do not physically abuse your spouse.

55. Do not bring up your past arguments, and disagreements.

56. Never bring up or use something in an argument, your spouse told you in confidence about him or her.

57. Let your spouse know you can be trusted.

58. Don’t give your spouse any reason to feel insecure.

59. Read books on becoming a better husband.


60. Read books on becoming a better wife.

61. Learn your spouses love language.

62. Always be in a learning process with getting to know your spouses likes and dislikes.

63. Husbands make love to her mind during the day and the rest will follow

64. Try not to let your children see you in disagreement or arguing.

65. Husbands surprise her with roses and the like, not just for birthdays, holidays and anniversary, but just because

66. Wives, your husbans love surprises also, put on one of his favorite nighties just because.

67. Don’t always try to get your way, but try to find a way that works for both of you

68. Alone time – yes its needed, but don’t go overboard. Let your mate know your thinking of them

69. Its healthy to have your time with friends, so long as they respect your marriage

70. Never cheat.

71. Never try to justify a wrong.

72. Stay fit and stay looking your best for your husband or wife.

73. Hear your spouse out before jumping to conclusions.

74. Don’t keep your spouse in the dark about things.

75. Never bad mouth your spouse to anyone.

76. Keep your love life between the two of you.

77. Your objective should be to make your spouse a better person as a result of being with you not by control but by love.

78. Open your spouse up to new things that are healthy for him or her.

79. Be open to new things, allow your spouse the chance to treat you like a king or queen

80. Communicate – he or she cannot read your mind.

81. Say what you mean, mean what you say.

82. Take your time to cool off, but when you start acting like room-mates your marriage is in trouble

83. Love, respect, loyalty and faithfulness should all be a given.

84. Have a vision and purpose for your marriage

85. Keep in mind your spouse is not your enemy but your best friend

86. Don’t look at marriage as an obligation but look at it as chance to love your mate unconditionally.

87. Our character should reflect the fruits of the spirit, love, patience, kindness, long suffering

88. Your objective should not be to change your spouse, but for your spouse to see your change

89. You cant change your spouse, but you can change how you love them and how you react to them
   

Diary Of A YOUNG WIFE.

Diary Of A YOUNG WIFE.

Monday:

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It?s fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, ?beat 12 eggs separately.? Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

Tuesday:

We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, ?serve without dressing.? So I didn?t dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

Wednesday:

I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, ?wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.? So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can?t say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:

Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.? I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right.

I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.

Friday:

Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did, to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:

Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I?m sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance.

When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out? why?

me? why me ??

Hmmm....It must be his job.

Vitamin D

Vitamin D is perhaps the single most underrated nutrient in the world of nutrition. That's probably because it's free: your body makes it when sunlight touches your skin.



Fifteen facts that are important to know about vitamin D and sunlight exposure:

1. Vitamin D is produced by your skin in response to exposure to ultraviolet radiation from natural sunlight. 


2. The healing rays of natural sunlight (that generate vitamin D in your skin) cannot penetrate glass. So you don't generate vitamin D when sitting in your car or home.

3. It is nearly impossible to get adequate amounts of vitamin D from your diet. Sunlight exposure is the only reliable way to generate vitamin D in your own body. 


4. A person would have to drink ten tall glasses of vitamin D fortified milk each day just to get minimum levels of vitamin D into their diet.

5. The further you live from the equator, the longer exposure you need to the sun in order to generate vitamin D. Canada, the UK and most U.S. States are far from the equator.

6. People with dark skin pigmentation may need 20 - 30 times as much exposure to sunlight as fair-skinned people to generate the sam e amount of vitamin D. That's why prostate cancer is epidemic among black men - it's a simple, but widespread, sunlight deficiency. 


7. Sufficient levels of vitamin D are crucial for calcium absorption in your intestines. Without sufficient vitamin D, your body cannot absorb calcium,rendering calcium supplements useless.

8. Chronic vitamin D deficiency cannot be reversed overnight: it takes months of vitamin D supplementation and sunlight exposure to rebuild the body's bones and nervous system.

9. Even weak sunscreens (SPF=8) block your body's ability to generate vitamin D by 95%. This is how sunscreen products actually cause disease -by creating a critical vitamin deficiency in the body.


10. It is impossible to generate too much vitamin D in your body from sunlight exposure: your body will self-regulate and only generate what it needs.

11. If it hurts to press firmly on your sternum, you may be suffering from chronic vitamin D deficiency right now.

12. Vitamin D is "activated" in your body by your kidneys and liver before it can be used.

13. Having kidney disease or liver damage can greatly impair your body's ability to activate circulating vitamin D.

14. The sunscreen industry doesn't want you to know that your body actually needs sunlight exposure because that realization would mean lower sales of sunscreen products. 


15. Even though vitamin D is one of the most powerful healing chemicals in your body, your body makes it absolutely free. No prescription required.

On the issue of sunlight exposure, by the way, it turns out that super antioxidants greatly boost your body's ability to handle sunlight without burning. Astaxanthin is one of the most powerful "internal sunscreens" and can allow you to stay under the sun twice as long without burning.

OBESITY

What are the risks of obesity?

Obesity is a serious condition as it increases the risk of heart diseases, diabetes, joint pains, high blood pressure and some types of cancers such as colon, breast and uterine cancers. Obese people are also more prone to diseases and problems such as stroke, gall bladder disease, breathing problems (sleep apnoea syndrome), low back pain, swelling of the feet and ankles, imbalances and accidents. Obese people have a low self-esteem and they avoid company, which makes them insular and insecure.

AnchorHow is it diagnosed?

Obesity is determined by measuring body weight and fat. There are different ways of calculating body fat. Body mass index (BMI) is one of the best methods used to measure body fat. BMI is calculated as the ratio of the weight in Kg and height in square metre. Guidelines define overweight as a BMI between 25 and 29.9 kg/square meter and obesity as a BMI greater than 30. The doctor may also suggest blood test for sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides. In case insufficient thyroid functioning (hypothyroidism) is suspected, the doctor will ask for a thyroid stimulating hormone test.


What is the treatment?

The simplest and the most basic principle is to reduce food intake,
especially the fat content, and increasing physical activity.
Increasing physical activity alone is not an easy way to lose weight
unless one combines it with a reduction of fat intake. Physical
activity includes walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, aerobics or any other household activity such as cleaning, washing, climbing stairs etc. The sense of well-being and weight loss motivates an individual to make changes in his or her diet as well. The best way of keeping a good control on ones dietary intake is to keep a daily diary, and writing down whatever one eats as one eats. Avoid high oil content in the curries and do not use butter on chappatis, which may be tasty without the fat. The doctor or health care provider evaluates the daily diet and plans a diet providing calories enough to maintain the weight below the ideal body weight.

Increase your physical; activity and reduce the intake of food. Your initial goal of weight loss therapy should be to reduce the bodyweight by 10% from baseline. With success, further weight loss can be attempted.Weight loss should be 1-2 kg for 6 months. Reducing dietary fat alone without reducing calories is not sufficient for weight loss. Reducing dietary fat along with dietary carbohydrates can help reduce calories.Weight maintenance program should be priory after 6 months.

In order to maintain one's weight, calories consumed should be equal to calories used. Energy balance is like a scale. When calories consumed are more than calories used, it results in weight gain. Let physical activity tip the scale in your favour. You can perform aerobic exercises 30 minutes a day thrice week. Avoid a sedentary lifestyle.

Certain medicines are also available for weight reduction. There are two main types of weight reducing drugs: one class decreases appetite while the other prevents dietary fat from being absorbed by the body. These drugs should be taken only with doctor”s advice, as there are a lot of side effects related with their use. Surgery to cure obesity should be undertaken as the last resort for people who are very obese, have tried all the other options available and have medical problems. The main surgical option is to have your stomach banded or stapled so that it cannot accommodate more food. Why not eat less voluntarily?

 
Few tips to bring about weight loss as well as ensuring good health:


 Eat plenty of vegetables, fruits, and grain products like wheat.
 Increase the consumption of complex carbohydrates like whole wheat, millet (jowar) and barley (bajra)
 Restrict refined products such as flour (maida) and its products such as bread, noodles, macaronis and pastas in regular diet
 Restrict fat and cholesterol rich foods. Only non-vegetarian foods (like eggs and dairy products) are good sources of cholesterol, however saturated fatty acids present in butter, ghee, vanaspati and coconut get metabolised to cholesterol in our body
 Reduce the amount of sugars consumed
 Consume raw fruits and vegetables in form of salads and raitas in every meal.These provide adequate vitamins, minerals and fibre. Fibre is essential as it aids in digestion, has an effective role in managing obesity and cardiovascular problems
 Limit salt intake
 Have small portions of food at a time
 Do not skip meals
 Have regular meal timings
 Do not eat while cooking and watching television
 Drink plenty of water (6-8 glasses) in a day
 Exercise regularly. Do brisk walking at least for 20-40 minutes in a day
The best exercises that are sustainable and safe to loose weight are
aerobic exercises. Aerobic exercises usually involve vigorous exercises sustained over a period of several minutes and their effect is to increase the efficiency of the lungs, heart and blood circulation,which are collectively known as the aerobic system. Short and sharp bursts of activity which rely on the body”s reserves of oxygen do not produce a similar improvement. Exercises should increase strength and mobility and also aid relaxation. You can choose walking, swimming,bicycling as per your fitness level and increase gradually. You should plan on 20-minute sessions at least 3 times per week. Gradual changes in eating habits will help encourage a permanent lifestyle change. A slow weight loss of 1 or 2 pounds a week, until the desirable body weight is reached, is best.