Terrific one-liners:

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
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Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
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I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
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A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
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Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
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Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
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You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
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Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
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Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
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My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
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Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
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Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
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A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
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You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
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It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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Real friends are the ones who survive transition between address books.
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Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
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Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
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They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come!
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
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There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it!
Cheers !!!

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