Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Dilbert's one liners:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜Š☺

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜—

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜›

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜ƒ

7. Born free, taxed to death.๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜€

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ˜œ☺

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.๐Ÿ˜Š☺๐Ÿ˜

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on yourpants.๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒพ๐Ÿ„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒน

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒธ

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and theblinking red light.๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ‚๐ŸŒฐ

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented theother three, he was the genius.๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒบ

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ‚๐ŸŒฟ

18.. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?๐Ÿ€๐ŸŒฟ๐ŸŒน

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ‘

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.๐Ÿ˜จ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒฒ

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒท

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26.. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ„

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.๐Ÿ’๐Ÿƒ

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜€

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

And the Best!

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else!๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ƒ


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