•Naughty stuff 
Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.              

👪👪👪👪👪👪👪👪
•Tension is when wife is pregnant! Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant! Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋
•The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?


•Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you? To see if you really mean it!


•Why is sex similar to shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow you have to do it again.


•Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

🚵🎳🏂🏇
•Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

🔩🔩🔩🔩🔩🔩🔩🔩
•The stock markets now are like an old man's dick? Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting screwed!


•This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan ......."We stare because we care!"


•The saddest part of a man's body is his balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"


•A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window. Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice! Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once? Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

🐥🐥🐥🐥
•What is the difference between a chicken and a baby? Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.


•If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get? Tit-Bits. And if it bursts in a man's underwear? Banana split.